This time last week, I was exhausted.
I had spent the week in Mishawaka, Indiana, with my extended family. It culminated with my cousin's beautiful wedding last Saturday! I was honored to be the Mistress of Ceremonies, and it was so great to have a part. Kelly is only a year younger than me, but because we only saw each other a couple times a year growing up, we haven't really been close. I got to know her in a new way through her wedding and am so excited to see the life that she and Tim build together!
After going to my grandparents' church in the morning and hanging out with the family in the afternoon, I decided to stay an extra night. I took the opportunity to visit two stores we don't have in Savannah- Meijer and Kohl's.
Sophie stayed with my grandparents while I went. It was odd not being with her.
As I walked through Meijer, I was overcome with a familiar yet unidentifiable feeling.
It welled up within me, entranced me, made my heart race and my mouth go dry.
That's when I identified it.
It was the same feeling I had the day I found out I was pregnant.
(ETA: This is not an announcement.)
That day, we were in Columbia, South Carolina, at a Chaplain's conference. I had dropped Jon off at the conference and was going to spend the day shopping! I started my day with a trip to the drugstore... and spent the rest of it wandering around with a sort of nervous elated shock. (Jon didn't know I was even going to take a test- he told me later that when I went to pick him up that afternoon, he thought I was acting odd and emotional...)
That was the feeling. Nervous Elated Shock.
I suppose this time it's not as much shock as it is Nervous Elation.
You see, Jon is coming home next week.
All of you military spouses know exactly what I'm talking about- you can't wait to see him, and you can't quite wrap your mind around the fact that the person you have been longing for every moment will soon be sitting next to you. You try to picture it, but experience has said that there really is no telling how it will go...
Last time he came home, it was a different feeling. Then it was not so much shock... or elation, really... just nervous. We barely knew each other. We didn't know what life together would be like. Honestly, I'm not so sure we even wanted to find out. It had been a difficult year, and we would finally begin our life together. I felt like I was a part of an arranged marriage- waiting for a husband I did not know.
It was better than we could have hoped for or imagined.
Last Sunday, I pushed my cart through Meijer, reflecting-
~ on the time that I had a breakdown shopping for Christmas decorations,
~ on the clearance 4th of July items, and how, as bad as it sounds, I really don't want Americana in my house right now...
~ on the favorites of Jon's I need to stock up on for when he gets home,
~ on the first night we met, impulsively going to Meijer to buy a Christmas present for his brother- only to realize that Christmas Eve is the only night of the year the store is closed,
~ on the fact that everything seems to remind me of him somehow,
~ on the rollercoaster of the last four years,
on how I would never want to do it with anyone else,
and on how happy I am.
I will stay busy over the next week, but that won't keep my mind off it. My husband is returning. My bridegroom is coming back for me.
There's no feeling like it in the world.