the secret enemy

i wrote this about 2 weeks ago, but never posted it...enjoy…

well, i finally figured it out. this week i discovered why stores put out christmas decorations so early. to make more money? nope. to satiate consumer’s need to have? wrong again. it’s for military families who have to start thinking about christmas ridiculously early in order to get it overseas in time. yep, i have thoroughly convinced myself that the world is good and they do this all for me….

seriously though. tuesday night i ventured to meijer to buy some decorations to send to jon. an entire corner of the store dedicated to such an event! then, it started. yes, what every military wife dreads. the tears. they are like this secret enemy lurking in the depths of your being, waiting to attack at the least opportune time possible. one time it was the camera section at best buy. this time, meijer. as i pushed my shopping cart down the aisle, choosing various lights, ornaments, and decorations, tears streamed down my face. then, of course, i started laughing at the fact that i was having a near breakdown in meijer. what a sight i must have been!

see, not only did the realization hit that i will be spending christmas alone, but also the memories of jonathan…we met at christmastime. ah well. it must have just been a low ES day. (i have a system rating my level of emotional stability- it helps people in my life know how hard or lightly to tread!) so thus begins the season of merriment…i have decided to get into an extraordinarily jolly christmas spirit to try to combat me wanting to kick people in the shins when they talk about holiday plans and such…but who knows…maybe sometime that secret enemy will rear its head too…