chatting away

my life has been all abuzz of late. jonathan is currently in transit home for leave, and... well... there are many preparations, and many emotions, involved.

we have now been married for 9 months and 9 days. we have spent a total of 13 of those days together. i can't entirely wrap my mind around the fact that he will be here, i will see him. it's exciting, but a bit nervewracking at the same time!! i have found myself expressing this in several ways... a few weeks ago, i was crying several times daily. over the last week, i think i may have cried once. now... i'm just getting chatty. it's the same way i get late at night... it's like, my mind is not filtering what is pertinent information for the listener and what is not... so he or she just gets it all. i really am so excited... though admittadly, my mind every so often wonders to that dreaded day in early february where we must once again say our good-byes... fortunately, this time it will be for 3 months, as opposed to 9. that is magnificent.

earlier this week i bought a shelf/cabinet thingy. and yes, i assembled it by myself. that 50 cent screwdriver and 1.99 hammer are proving to be excellent purchases :) ... you know, as much as i never would have thought it, i rather enjoy doing things like that. i think it's because there are definite directions to follow. it's indicitive of my personality, really... tell me what's expected, and i will do it. give me freedom to exercise my creativity on my own, and i will stare at you blankly.

well... on that note... enough chatting for now...

grace

i guess i have a thing for lyrics lately... this song was sung at our wedding.

My faithful Father, enduring Friend
Your tender mercy’s like a river with no end
It overwhelms me, covers my sin
Each time I come into Your presence
I stand in wonder once again

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
Your grace still amazes me
‘Cause Your grace still amazes me

Oh, patient Saviour, You make me whole
You are the Author and the Healer of my soul
What can I give You, Lord, what can I say
I know there’s no way to repay You
Only to offer You my praise

It’s deeper, it’s wider
It’s stronger, it’s higher
It’s deeper it’s wider
It’s stronger, it’s higher than anything my eyes can see

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
Your grace still amazes me
‘Cause Your grace still amazes me

happy birthday to the in-laws!

i haven't been sending forth birthday greetings via blogs, but with 2 today, i thought i'd go for it...

carrie (my brother matt's wife)
josh (jonathan's brother)

happy birthday to you both!

Joke

I have a friend who posted a great joke... check it out here!

not what my hands have done

not what my hands have done can save my guilty soul;
not what my toiling flesh has borne can make my spirit whole.
not what i feel or do can give me peace with God;
not all my prayers, and sighs and tears
can bear my awful load.

Thy work alone, o Christ, can ease this weight of sin
Thy blood alone o Lamb of God, can give me peace within.
Thy love to me o God, not mine, o Lord, to Thee
can rid me of this dark unrest,
and set my spirit free!

Thy grace alone, o God, to me can pardon speak;
Thy power alone o Son of God, can this sore bondage break.
no other work, save Thine, no other blood will do,
no strength save that which is divine,
can bear me safely through.

i bless the Christ of God; i rest on love divine;
and with unfaltering lip and heart, i call this Savior mine.
His cross dispels each doubt, i bury in His tomb
my unbelief, and all my fear,
each lingering shade of gloom.

i praise the God of grace, i trust His truth and might
He calls me His, i call Him mine, my God, my joy, my light
’tis He who saveth me, and freely pardon gives
i love because He loveth me,
i live because He lives!


words by horatius bonar, 1808-1889
music by kevin twit
sung by indelible grace

a couple pics

yes, yes, it was several months ago, but here are a few pics from the wedding...
i may post more later...

out with the old, in with the new!

well, it has been a long while indeed. you know, every couple days i see my blog bookmarked and think, "i really should write something" ... then i tell myself why now is not a good time and go along with my business.

so, a few highlights from the most joyous of seasons, in no specific order... it's a bit long, so bear with me...

~ being able to spend all of the Christmas days with family:
*Christmas Eve after the church service josh, amy, katelyn, & ben came over to my apartment. we just hung out, since the fishers apparently have an aversion to picking up "it's a wonderful life" a half hour into it... it was enjoyable nonetheless
*after the church service (YES, i went to church... pagan me, went to church... :) ) on Christmas morning, i went over to Josh & Amy's for lunch, stuffing myself with great food
*3 hours later, i went to my brother and sister-in-law's house, stuffing myself with great food
~ Christmas night, playing a game until late at night with my family. (finally, we're breaking out of our trivial pursuit pattern!! i like games with a little less thought involved...)
~ the fact that the gift i bought for my 2-year-old nephew (a long stick with a claw on one end, enabling you to grab at things from a distance) was ALSO bought by my dad for my 30-year-old brother-in-law, dave. gotta love that.
~ reminding my parents how my kids will enjoy getting BOOKS for christmas, not the incessantly loud and obnoxious toys my nieces and nephews get from them. my dad was quick to tell me that it does not matter. they will get obnoxious ones nonetheless. great, i can't wait...
~ getting to go out with sara and beth, the previously mentioned friends from high school. always good times.
~ the day off work to go to indiana for yet another family christmas.... woo hoo!
~ the large tupperware bowl i got from my mom. funny how those things suddenly turn exciting when you grow up...
~ babysitting for various family and friends.... doing iris' hair so beautifully that even her dad's friend commented on how great it looked... and boy, could i tell you a story or two about those weeks kids! :)... ah, they're full of personality and energy... really, i had an amazingly enjoyable time watching all of them: allie, gracie, & emily hoskins, katelyn, jacob & caleb, iris & lila, and ginger, joe, giovonni, & jasmine weeks... made me realize how excited i am to be a mom, yet how willing i am to wait a while for it! :)
~ spending all day wednesday with the whole family in indiana...
~ finally being considered an adult because i'm married. (there are certain gifts and such in my family that you have to be married in order to get. not that they have any special significance, but they are reserved for couples only.)
~ seeing "sara and jon" on the tags of those gifts
~ the videos jon recorded for me, showing me a glimpse of his life
~ getting to hang out with jon's 2 sisters for new year's eve
~ getting my hair highlighted red the other night... but, that's another story......
~ watching movies on josh & amy's wall with ben's projector. yes, a projector. the man doesn't own a tv, but watches dvds on the "big screen."
~ one of those movies, in america. i loved it. it's about an irish family that moves to america after losing a son, and the challenges they encounter. it deals a lot with reaction to suffering, and also perceptions/stereotypes of people. it has a very loving husband and wife who go through amazingly tough times together. definitely recommend it.
~ thinking i dropped a ring down the sink, and BY MYSELF (with some brief instruction and lending of channel-locks from josh) taking apart the drain and putting it back together... i feel so independent... (of course, the ring wasn't there... it apparently was in a pocket, because it turned up the next day in the laundry... it was worth it to feel all army-wife-ish though!)
~ the chocolate chip soft-drop cookies from my mom. you know, it's not that they're even my favorite kind of cookies... but i don't think it'd be christmas without those red and green sprinkled cookies. though, finally, a few years ago, she stopped putting raisins in them. made them much better.

but, of all, the best was the wake-up call i got from jonathan on christmas eve. it was a lovely conversation. he got his dates for leave! woo hoo! i'm quite excited... but oh, so much to do, so much to do...

so, all in all, the holidays were good ones. there were quite a few hard times... christmas eve was especially difficult, being the one-year anniversary of jon's & my first conversation. and all this week... those memories of the things we were doing this time last year....

looking back on 2005, it's really amazing how far i've come. i have grown as a person, and my relationship with jon has blossomed into a great marriage. i have done this thing every year since probably... 1997 or so (actually, last year i didn't do it... i was a bit... uh.. "distracted" :) ) but i shall do it again this year. i make a list called (this year, for example) "on december 31, 2004, i never would have thought that..." (ok ok, i was 15 when i started doing it... sorry for the lame title...) but it gives me a chance to look back, and to remember for years to come, all the ways my life has changed. it's interesting, too... to look at the first few i did, they mostly involved short-lived high school relationships and top 40 songs. now, the things that make the list are much more significant... my life has changed incredibly, more than words can say. i even look differently now than i did a year ago. and now, i smile as i think of all the possibilities 2006 will bring... happy new year!

my 2 cents

** DISCLAIMER: I am not advocating the canceling of church on a regular basis, and I strongly feel that the body is important to the growth of the individual. When I originally wrote this post, I was trying to present the other side of the issue to people who automatically thought ill of the churches that did cancel. If you want more explanation, please read the comments section. Thanks!


it seems as though everyone (well, in a church office anyway...) has an opinion on it, so i thought i'd post mine... feel free to post yours in the comments section.

with christmas falling on a sunday, several mega-churches have decided to cancel services, sparking national debate. (this is one of the numerous news articles on the subject.) these churches are being accused of going too far in trying to fit into "today's culture." my church is having services, and i will be there... both on christmas eve AND on christmas day... but i will certainly not criticize those who don't.

growing up, my family had several christmas-oriented traditions. some for christmas eve, some for christmas day. and though we always were flexible (like post-poning christmas eve events until my brother could make it up from fort benning on christmas morning), and things have changed over the years (3 spouses and 4 grandkids require such), these things will always remain a part of my perception of christmas. but this year... well, this year nothing is the same. why? because we all must be at church on christmas morning. now, don't get me wrong. i as well will be at church. if i had a family, i'm sure we would go to church. but my question to you is... why is it such a big deal? please don't even try to tell me that it's to "put Christ first." to me, that is nothing more than a christian cliche. i don't know, maybe it's just because of my perception as a pastor's kid... but to me, putting myself in the shoes of a parent- let alone a pastor's wife- getting the kids up and ready to go to church on Christmas morning doesn't demonstrate putting CHRIST first... it demonstrates putting CHURCH first. because gosh darnit, if the church doors are open, we'll be there. and even better, we'll probably be the ones there early to unlock them and stay late to lock them back up. i'm not saying we shouldn't go to church, i'm not saying there's anything wrong with having services, please don't misunderstand me. but what i am saying is that what happens in the home is a million times more important in the life of a child than being forced to go to church 18 times a week. the role my parents played in my faith was not because they exposed me to church, but because i saw them live it in their lives. if these churches want to cancel services to be with their family, let them.

npr also had an interesting brief report on it. i'll admit, they have some idiots speaking on both sides of the issue. (i think my personal favorite was the suggestion to have a "pajama service"- everyone wear pjs and bring their gifts TO CHURCH so everyone can open them at church together. are you kidding me??)

i think that throughout this whole debate, the best way i can sum it up is to agree with one of the pastors interviewed in the npr report. he serves at a church in colorado springs that IS having services... but he is obviously fed up with the fact that the whole thing has become such a big deal. regarding churches' decision to cancel- and the debate that ensued- his attitude is one i absolutely agree with: "the sky is not falling, the kingdom of God will move forward, and life will go on."

in the words of dr. stowell.... "amen, and amen."

smelling like lilies

these were delivered to me earlier this week,
sent from jon for no reason other than to brighten my office.
and indeed they have...
i smile every time i look at them...

here's another one!

ta-daaa!!

well, this is it. after many many roadblocks, i finally have the tree decorated to my standards. though i must admit... this picture does not do its glory proper justice. even now, i sit, admiring its beauty... the beauty of my own tree...

it's a small world after all....

i was out and about tonight, and after hitting target, i had about 20 minutes to kill. i wandered over to tj maxx...i was just wandering around, casually perusing christmas decorations, and out of the corner of my eye i saw a guy dressed in ACUs (ACUs are the digital military uniforms- as opposed to the traditional camouflage- not the whole army has them yet, but jon's brigade does)...and at the same time, i heard the word "georgia." i turned around and said, "excuse me, are you in the 48th brigade?" he was rather taken aback, and said, "well...yeah.." i smiled and said, "my husband is too." ... "oh really? who's your husband?" i answered (though i had to think about it a moment...i've never introduced myself to anyone who knows him as this) "chaplain fisher." his eyes got really big, and his friend exclaimed "dude, you KNOW fisher!" through conversation, we realized that he and i graduated from the same high school- him 4 years before me! he is home for his 2 week leave right now. especially considering they're with the GEORGIA army national guard, this truly proves the smallness of our world!

his eyes got all watery as soon as he heard i was jon's wife. he went on to tell me how much he means to all the guys... "he's done more for us than you could ever know" he said. he spoke of how jon is with them before missions, and how he was there through the fatalities. he told me about an article in the brigade newspaper that was a bit anti-chaplain, and how after that some of them made sure to talk to jon to tell him how much they like him! ... it made me feel so good to stand there, the wife of someone who is thought of so highly and means so much to these soldiers. he didn't have to say those things. he could have said, "yeah, i know him" and it would have sufficed. but through his red and watery eyes he looked right into mine and told me of all these things that jonathan has done.

i'm still kinda recovering from the absurdity of this encounter... the number of coincidences that aligned our meeting (one of which was that the airline left his bag in chicago...so he had to stop at the store on his way home from the airport to buy clothes!) is amazing! wow... i think i'll be humming that hated yet familiar disney tune for days...

irisart

this is some art done by my 6-year-old niece, iris. her teacher uses a website that allows you to see kids' creations online!

great pic, iris!

christmas trees and movies i hate

i finally put up my christmas tree tonight. it has been in pieces on my living room floor for the past week...it's been a long time coming! i tried for about an hour last saturday to get the base put together...i ended up having to have amy do it...she's the woman! so tonight, after assembling the color-coded branches, i ended up with my first very own christmas tree. i excitedly started draping the lights...i have white and blue. much to my chagrin, i realized that i should have made sure they had green wiring! the blue look fantastic...but the white, eh, not so much, with wires of the same color. i shall go tomorrow to find better lights. so, i haven't finished decorating yet, since i'm going to change the lights. i'm rather excited for this...having your own christmas tree ranks right up their with having your own kitchen. not quite, but close.

on a completely unrelated note, what is it with stressful movies? ugh. i like happy movies where there are no bad guys and no stressful situations. apparently i should stick with disney... i watched the war of the worlds a few nights ago. i thought it was good...and it's not like i got scared or freaked out...but it was SO stressful! my heart was racing the entire time. and my other recent view...millions. if you have never seen it, it's definitely worth a trip to the video store on a bored night. it's rated pg (though has some scenes that i definitely would rate at a pg-13), and is about two little boys who find millions of pounds only days before england changes to the euro. really, it's not the plot that's intriguing...it's the way it is filmed. it is fantastic. the aerial shots, the scene transitions...all very interesting. so as i was watching it, i thought to myself, "you know, this is really great. a cute movie about two little boys who are having the time of their lives spending money." then, i hear it. the sound i hate. dramatic music. it's normally either a lower bass note held out, or a minor chord. either way, i hate it. though i have to admit, i do appreciate being fore-warned. and i heed its call...last night, i immediately closed my eyes and turned the other way...a position i would hold for much of the movie, come to find out. what is it with me? ah, there are the reasons i don't like to think about...having been robbed (for starters) at gunpoint in a parking lot, having a husband at war...these probably factor in. come to think of it, before these things happened i could handle movies much better. ah, but maybe i'm just getting wimpier in my old age. in many ways, i'd like to think the latter.

so am i destined for a life of elf and finding nemo? i sure hope not. ah, alas, maybe it will be more tolerable when i can watch these movies in my husband's arms...and if that doesn't even help, well, then we'll all know i'm just a wimp. hey, there's worse things to be, right?

the new... and the not

i had begun writing another post...but i realized it was nothing more than my traditional diatribe on...well, on tradition. i shall try to stifle that for tonight, but it may still creep into my other thoughts...

i had an enjoyable thanksgiving with my family, for whom i am extremely thankful. i do have to say, though, that i'm realizing that the things i'm enjoying the most are the things that are new, the variations to the tradition. namely, the kids. i have two nieces (Iris, 6; Lila, 3) and two nephews (Jacob, 2; Caleb, 1). Each of them has a unique personality and adds individual flavor to the family. it is great watching them grow up as they develop and discover their personalities even more.

last night i had a lovely evening with two dear friends. sara, beth, and i have been friends since middle school. we ate a dinner of chicken with broccoli and rice, then had a wonderful time of catching up as old friends do. this seems to be going along with the theme of the month. a couple weeks ago, i went to wisconsin to visit another friend, this one from college. we have seen each other once or twice a year since then, the most recent being my wedding in april. this friend, ashley, will be leaving in less than 4 months for east asia. (you can read about her journey into missions here.) we have shared countless hours together, crying and laughing (sometimes simultaneously), talking about everything from the mundane to deep matters of the heart- and now we won't see each other for several years, at the very least. these three women have been with me through the thick and the thin, sparing me from going through life's joys and challenges alone.

for these and so many others...
...thanks be to God.

clarification

one more thing...i keep meaning to clarify this...when i said i was wearing "army paraphernalia," i did not in any way mean anything camouflage...sorry for the confusion...i meant this cute little black athletic vest that has the army logo in the corner!

two great things

remember in the last post when i said i have purposed to be jolly? i'm proud to say that i'm being rather successful. everyone at work is already annoyed with the amount of christmas music i've listened to...must be doing something right! tonight katelyn and i are watching "elf"- i strongly recommend it. "there are a few things you should know about new york: 1) if you find gum on the street, leave it. it's not free candy. ... 3) if you see a sign that says "peep show," that does not mean they're letting you look at the presents before christmas." what wonderful words of wisdom from santa.

last night i went to an adoption meeting thing with amy. it was fabulous. it made me want to adopt internationally! they had 3 families share their stories. the coolest was this family that has 11 kids in 14 years- the oldest, the youngest, and one toward the middle are the only biological. they have 6 different cultures represented in their family. 2 of the oldest boys- who are now 30 years old- were there and shared their side of it. that was really neat, to see it from the perspective of an adult who was adopted. the theme of the evening was how to integrate the child's birth culture into his/her life and the whole family. they had some really great practical suggestions. they offered tips on not only incorporating food, clothing, or simple phrases into daily life, but also to volunteer to teach your child's class about his/her birth country, or to have an "adoption day" every year commemorating the day the child was brought into the family. then, we ate food from the three countries their adoption agency works with- china, guatemala, and russia. i quite enjoyed it.

so, my two recommendations for the day: 1) watch "elf." 2) adopt internationally. (hey, one out of two ain't bad...)

oh, a few more quotes for the road... "i like smiling. smiling's my favorite." "i'm just happy to meet another human who shares my affinity for elf culture." "have you seen these toilets? they're ginormous!"

the secret enemy

i wrote this about 2 weeks ago, but never posted it...enjoy…

well, i finally figured it out. this week i discovered why stores put out christmas decorations so early. to make more money? nope. to satiate consumer’s need to have? wrong again. it’s for military families who have to start thinking about christmas ridiculously early in order to get it overseas in time. yep, i have thoroughly convinced myself that the world is good and they do this all for me….

seriously though. tuesday night i ventured to meijer to buy some decorations to send to jon. an entire corner of the store dedicated to such an event! then, it started. yes, what every military wife dreads. the tears. they are like this secret enemy lurking in the depths of your being, waiting to attack at the least opportune time possible. one time it was the camera section at best buy. this time, meijer. as i pushed my shopping cart down the aisle, choosing various lights, ornaments, and decorations, tears streamed down my face. then, of course, i started laughing at the fact that i was having a near breakdown in meijer. what a sight i must have been!

see, not only did the realization hit that i will be spending christmas alone, but also the memories of jonathan…we met at christmastime. ah well. it must have just been a low ES day. (i have a system rating my level of emotional stability- it helps people in my life know how hard or lightly to tread!) so thus begins the season of merriment…i have decided to get into an extraordinarily jolly christmas spirit to try to combat me wanting to kick people in the shins when they talk about holiday plans and such…but who knows…maybe sometime that secret enemy will rear its head too…

6 Down, 6 To Go!

yay!! it's november 15! to many people- especially in my neck of the woods (rather literally...) november 15 means none other than opening day of rifle season. but not to me! november 15 marks the half-way point of jon's deployment- also known as "6 down, 6 to go" day. in honor of the oh-so-special occasion, i'm wearing army paraphernalia. woo hoo! let's celebrate!!!

the butterfly effect

for as long as i can remember, i have always been intruiged by other cultures. even in elementary school, i would ask for books about people in the world for christmas. i have been to guyana, south america; and hungary, europe. i find it absolutely amazing. to think that there are people living a completely different lifestyle than me, different stories that found their cultures, different principles and governments- it reminds me that i am just a part of something much bigger. we get so wrapped up in what is going on in our own little world that we- well, at least i- tend to forget that it isn't all about me, that others have dreams, goals, and fears that are just as important to them as mine are to me. to think that what is happening on the other side of the world could one day dramatically affect my life. to think that America isn't God's chosen nation, that he loves his children across space and across time.

there are a couple things going on that bring this even more to the front of my mind. one of them, of course, is having a husband in iraq. that culture, the issues of that country, have affected my life. and josh and amy (jon's brother and sister-in-law) are in the process of adopting a little girl from china right now ("paper pregnant," if you will). When they go to pick her up in about a year, she will probably be between 8 and 15 months old. that means that at any time, any day- possibly even as i type this- emma mei lennox fisher is being born, though no one knows her as that quite yet. our family will never be the same. emma will bring a fantastic diversity to the fisher family, serving as a constant reminder that life is bigger than us.

the butterfly effect, in short, is a theory that one butterfly flapping its wings on the other side of the world carries global effects. isn't that amazing to think about? that there could be things happening right now thousands and thousands of miles away that will change your life? i can only imagine...