The Return of the Red Baron

Last January, as Jon and I sat on the couch in the sunroom, one phrase stuck out at me:

"I'll be home for Christmas..."

And he is. When he first told me he was deploying this year, neither of us really knew the details, how long he would be there. What we were fairly certain of was that he would be home for Christmas.

That means so much to me... we all know another deployment is down the pike, and with all these calls for surges in Afghanistan (wait... not a surge, right? Just quickly sending more troops...), who knows if he'll be here next year...

You know those messages that are on radio and tv this time of year, from the war? "Hello, this is Sergeant X stationed in Baghdad, wishing a Merry Christmas to my wife and kids back at Fort Stewart." They make me cry every time. Jon will come home from work to find me in tears, listening to Christmas music.

Especially if "I'll be Home for Christmas" happens to come on. It's over then.

I have found another song this year that makes me emotional. I remember it well from my childhood; it was always one of my favorite Christmas songs. Remember it?



Yep, The Return of the Red Baron. Growing up I just thought it was a fun song - it is actually quite significant. Though the events specifically aren't from the famous Christmas Eve Truce of 1914, similar events were told of all over the war zone.

Don't know what I'm talking about? In 1914, when WWI started, no one thought it would last more than a couple months. On Christmas Eve, stories are told of both sides agreeing to not fight on Christmas. They really are touching stories - I think what's most amazing is to hear Soldiers talk about how that made the war more human to them. They realized that the enemy Soldiers were men just like them, with families and lives back home.

If you've never seen it, I'd encourage you to watch Joyeux Noel. I wrote about it two years ago in this post. (Though, I feel the need to caveat that there is one scene you may need to skip through...)

Christmas is happy for me this year. I have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful husband at home. Yet, I can't help but think about all the people it isn't happy for. Whether those around me whose Soldiers are still deployed, or others who are hurting in many different ways, this is certainly not "the most wonderful time of the year" for everyone...

Remember these people in your prayers this season. Be grateful for what you have. Help others when you can.

Merry Christmas.

On this day...

This morning walking into church I was almost overwhelmed with the ache that today must be immeasurably difficult for so many people. It literally took my breath away, as I walked through the door to the sight of a bucketful of carnations and pink copies of "A Mother's Prayer" being passed out...

Today is happy for me.

It is not for many.

If you are one of those people, I am sincerely sorry. I am sorry for your loss- whether it was a wife, mother, grandmother, child, or a child never conceived. I am sorry for the insensitivity that can accompany this "holiday." I am sorry for the parade of pink and smiles you must endure.

A year ago today, we told our grandmothers that we were expecting Sophia. Jon was away in Mississippi for the week, and he emailed me a beautiful video he had recorded. I remember watching it, just feeling scared. I was only about 6 weeks along then, and the fear of miscarriage was almost crippling. I watched it sitting on my couch, crying, wondering if I would ever meet this baby.

I did. She is now 5 months old and beautiful.

I am blessed that my mother and both of my grandmothers are still alive. I am blessed that I have a godly heritage in them. I am blessed that both of Jon's grandmothers and one of his great-grandmothers are still with us- and I am saddened that I never got to know his mom. I am saddened that Sophie will never know her.

So whether today is a happy day for you or a difficult one, I hope you know that you are loved and cherished. Christ promises us that.

(And to my mom- Happy Mother's Day- I love you!)

Happy Easter from Sophie!

Maundy Thursday

I went to a Maundy Thursday service tonight.

Do you not know what that is, though you vaguely remember hearing of it?

Me too.

So, I went. Of course, I had wikipedied it, hoping to learn more.

What I gather is that many traditions celebrate it similarly to Good Friday. It commemorates the Last Supper and Jesus' experience at Gethsemane. Oftentimes, I read, foot washing is a part of the service, though it wasn't at ours tonight.

You know, I don't think I had even been to a Good Friday service until a few years ago. Maybe once growing up, I don't remember. I will say that I think celebrating Easter is so much more meaningful after recognizing Good Friday (or Maundy Thursday). Something about hailing a resurrection without reflecting on the solemness of his death just doesn't seem right... I think we sometimes brush over what actually happened between the joyous Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday. One week we're singing Hosanna!, and the next, He's Alive!!... and, ohbytheway, he died a couple days ago...

One thing I have really appreciated about the chapel community is the ability to experience other traditions. The variety of ways of administering communion alone is amazing! Never before have I gone to a Maundy Thursday service, and I enjoy being exposed to such things.

Even elements like reciting The Lord's Prayer or The Apostle's Creed as a community seem so refreshing to me. I suppose that whatever is unlike what you grew up with seems fresh; I'm sure that it does become rote and dull. I would argue that the liturgy of any church can become rote- even if that liturgy is more "contemporary." Don't get me wrong, I love the contemporary service style (though, I have found, many claiming to be "contemporary" haven't changed a thing in the past 10 or 15 years since they first began...). At the same time, things such as communal recitations, the singing of the doxology, and the observance of the liturgical calendar are quite meaningful to me. I'll admit to even having a fondness for ministerial vestments.

Of course, general protestant services present their own set of challenges, but I'll address that another time... I will also add that I have had experiences that I have appreciated, but not particularly enjoyed. Or, I might enjoy it once, but wouldn't want it every week. It's still nice to expand my horizons a little.

Tonight I shall leave you with the lyrics to one of my favorite hymns- it was actually sung at our wedding. It is a Welsh song, from the revival that took place in Wales a century ago. Heaven's peace and perfect justice kissed a guilty world in love...

Here is love vast as the ocean
Loving kindness as the flood
When the Prince of life, our ransom
Shed for us His precious blood
Who His love will not remember?
Who can cease to sing His praise?
He can never be forgotten
Throughout Heaven's eternal days

On the Mount of Crucifixion
Fountains opened, deep and wide
Through the floodgates of God's mercy
Flowed a vast and gracious tide
Grace and love, like mighty rivers
Poured incessant from above
And Heaven's peace and perfect justice
Kissed a guilty world in love

Let us all Thy love accepting
Love Thee ever, all our days
Let us seek Thy Kingdom only
And our lives be to Thy praise
Thou alone shalt be our glory
Nothing in the world we see
Thou hast cleansed and sanctified us
Thou Thyself has set us free...

A Christmas Story

Jon and I were talking about something the other day, and he mentioned looking for answers on the internet. Funny thing- I used to Google every other thought I had, and after several days of dealing with this situation, it hadn't even occurred to me! I used to spend a significant portion of each day online... now I barely check my email!

We had a great Christmas with Sophie! As much as we missed not being able to see family, we really really enjoyed it being just us. Jon led the music at the installation Christmas Eve service Monday night- it was a beautiful service. During the lighting of the candles, Jon and I played special music- he on guitar and vocals, me on the flute. It was going great until they shut off ALL the lights once all the candles were lit- we couldn't see anything! Seeing how we had just chosen the song late that afternoon (and neither of us had ever played it), it was a bit stressful... but we made it just fine.

We came home and enjoyed Christmas Eve packed with all the things I grew up with on Christmas Eve- summer sausage and cheese, A Christmas Carol (HAS to be George C. Scott), and simply spending time together. I even bought a popcorn tin, which the Fishers always had on Christmas Eve. It was lovely!

Christmas morning we made cinnamon rolls (another Nave tradition), read the Christmas story out of Luke 2 (Fisher tradition), opened gifts, and had a relaxing morning! Jon then spent the rest of the day cleaning the house and cooking (I spent the rest of the day doing what I do EVERY day- spend every other hour getting Sophie to eat...), then we had some friends over for dinner. It was the first time we have hosted a holiday, and it went great! I am indebted to Jon for working so much to make Christmas be how I wanted it to be, even having company less than 2 weeks after delivery...

This was my and Jon's 4th Christmas Eve together... 3 years ago at the Christmas Eve service, we met for the 2nd time. Jon says he wooed me with his slick charm... which is... pretty much true. What can I say, I'm a sucker for the romance of the holidays. Little did I know then that in three short years, we would be sitting in our living room holding our child. It was so neat to be able to play together Monday night- we have never really done that before, just the two of us. If you are a musician at all, then you know that working through a piece of music (wait, did I say a piece of music? What I meant to say was a printout of the lyrics with chords... which weren't even the right chords, because Jon capoed... not that chords help a flautist much anyway...) takes a significant amount of communication and patience- the fact that we did this 3 hours before the service (and I didn't even get teary once!) is a testament to how much our relationship has grown over the past few years. In fact, at that very first Christmas Eve service, Jon sang O Holy Night with the Kent City Baptist band (of which I was a part) backing him up. At the rehearsal, I remember thinking that he was kind of a jerk- I think I was too used to working with Josh (Jon's brother and KCBC worship pastor), who is (or has learned to be) quite laid back in working with other musicians. Jon seemed arrogant. Again, little did I know...

In other news, we passed another milestone this week- we paid off our last credit card! Well over half of our debt is gone (excepting the house, of course...), and in the next year and a half or so it should be gone. I have to say, I have been opposed to the envelope/cash system for... well, forever. I don't need that, I thought- I don't spend money flippantly. But I have to tell you, I don't think we could have gotten to this point without it. Suddenly, we know where our money is going, we control it- and at the end of the month when there's some left in the envelope, all the better! It all started back in the beginning of September when Jon decided to sell the truck- and it snowballed from there. You can read more about it at Jon's blog.

I suppose this has gone on long enough... I will try to post more frequently so they don't get this long! :-)

Oh the weather outside is...

Ah yes. Nothing like 90 degree weather to get one in the holiday spirit.

No, I'm not talking about Dance Like A Chicken Day, although that does happen to be today.

Nope, I'm talking about my favorite time of year- that period from Halloween (including the preceeding pumpkin carving) through New Year's. I have been listening to Christmas music (only when Jonathan is NOT home), and I am even presently watching a Christmas movie. I stared longingly today at a photo of autumn leaves.

It all gives me the warm fuzzies- why reserve that for two months a year?

Plus, since I seem to have come down with a cold, it seems fitting...

the most wonderful time

so a certain realization has hit me this week: final exams are as much of a pain for teachers as they are for students.

*sigh*... it has been a long week of entering grades, writing exams, copying exams, making grading sheets... and soon to be actually grading these things. my first hour class is working busily on their 5-page test right now. i see a girl in the corner of the room trying to get the cramp out of her hand, another boy staring at the ceiling, hoping to find an answer written there. ah yes. the most wonderful time of the year, right?

it has been busy, but i have been enjoying myself of late. i happen to absolutely love christmas and all it entails... cookies, trees, decorations, music, movies (i even got jon to watch elf!... still working on a christmas story, though) i also- with the help of my loving co-worker/husband- took the 7th and 8th graders to see a stage play of a christmas carol at the shakespeare tavern. even now, i'm nibbling on some wonderful white chocolate peppermint bark a student made and gave me.

it is wonderful that jon is home for it this year! i was reflecting earlier about my breakdown last year at meijer shopping for decorations for him... then leaving up the tree until the end of january when he came home. not this year, not me!

the thing that i do miss this year is cold weather. and snow. yes yes, i know- i HATE cold weather. but it just doesn't seem like christmas when it's 65 degrees outside!

ah... i need to get back to making the spanish answer key... soon it will be over!!!

Where's the Gravy?

This was written by my dad...


Where's the Gravy!?!

As I was pondering the great issues of life while sweeping up the crumbs from last night's youth meeting, I was overwhelmed by a sense of laughter and joy by the memories of my family at Thanksgiving. And the world instantly became a better place. You would have to know my family. My grandparents were immigrants. Granted, it was just from the mountains of Tennessee to the factories of the Midwest, but immigrants just the same. As with most depression era families in Appalachia, times were hard for my grandparents. They, like untold numbers of other families, lived off the land and squeezed every drop they could squeeze from anything that could be squeezed. And what comes out when you squeeze is called gravy. Yes, the very nectar of heaven, itself. Sauce to be savored. Syrup to be saved. Juice to be enjoyed. The foundational and single most important element of any and every good and descent meal - animal squeezings mixed with flour. Gravy. Just the sound of the word makes me hungry. I was an adult before I learned you could actually eat mashed potatoes without it. Who knew?

Our family Thanksgivings always included football, plenty of gossip, a good nap or two, usually an argument, and a celebration of God's goodness around a table filled with food. And the centerpiece was never a turkey, for most of my family doesn't even like turkey. But we always had a turkey, because we needed something out of which to squeeze gravy… usually in various colors, viscosities, and flavors. However, my favorite Thanksgiving- and Thanksgiving story- was different. As we sat around the festive table at my aunt's house; and after whoever was considered the most spiritual that particular year offered thanks to God; and after the mashed potatoes had made the rounds and were neatly piled on everyone's plate with the traditional divot-for-the-gravy expertly carved on top; and after several people asked for the gravy to be passed; and after someone impatiently asked "Who has the gravy?"; and after my aunt nervously, and with fear and inquisition in her tone, said, "Who made the gravy?"; and when eye met eye and neck hairs bristled; then and only then did we realize the world, as we knew it, had ended. And the gravy gods cried. There… was… no… gravy!

To this day, my dad won't admit that it happened. Says he doesn't remember it that way. Apparently, it's too painful. The animal drippings were wasted that year, and the cycle of life was broken. There weren't very many family Thanksgivings after that. Many of the cousins moved away. The grandparents - who loved us with all their hearts, by the way - were soon to pass into eternity. The younger generation began to marry and gravitate to their own family traditions. But we went out with a bang! Isn't that the way we are? We live in the most affluent society the world has ever seen. God has granted to those who believe an eternity with His Dear Son in Heaven. And yet, we seem to desire more. But what could be 'more' than God's gifts of blessing? Everything else is but gravy… the worthless juice of an animal whose goose is cooked.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving. Remember to be thankful for the gift of God's Son. And don't worry about the gravy.

another year older...

my birthday was saturday, and it was lovely. oddly enough, i woke up bright and early. don't really know what happened there...

anyway...

jon made me breakfast, then we enjoyed a morning of watching movies and hanging out. it was marvelous and relaxing. he was going to make lasagna for dinner, but we ended up going out for indian food instead. it's only the second time i've been to an indian restaurant, and the first time was a buffet- definitely the way to go with food you're unfamiliar with. fortunately, we both loved what we ordered- he had lamb curry, and i had chicken in a soupy spinach sauce. it was absolutely fantastic! we came home and had cappuccino pie, which my mom has made for my birthday every year since high school. she had sent jon the recipe so i could enjoy my tradition!

i have to say, though, the best part of the day was my gift from jon. earlier in the week we had borrowed a friend's gun to go to the range, and i fell in love with it. it was a .22 mini-revolver that folds up into a cute little concealable package. we had talked about me getting one, but i wasn't expecting it for my birthday! he had wrapped two packages; the first one was a small gun case. i didn't even open the case, because i wasn't expecting the gun. the next gift was rounds, which clued me in that maybe i should actually unlock the case... and it held my new gun! it is exactly the same as this picture- a .22 magnum revolver. i am so excited.

we ended up having the lasagna yesterday... and today... and tomorrow... and possibly wednesday...

come to think of it, i mispoke earlier. the gun was not the best part of the day. the best part was the fact that jonathan was home for it. i did miss being with my family, but having my husband here was priceless.

chillin out max and relaxin all cool...

i'm tired. it is saturday night, and we spent the day on the boat and jetskis out on the atlantic ocean off the coast of georgia- we explored an uninhabited island and saw several dolphins playfully jumping in the water.

we spent last week in pensacola, florida, hanging out on the beach and spending time with jon's family. i have eaten more seafood in the past 2 weeks than i think i ever have- eel sushi, oysters (twice), talapia, mahi mahi, shrimp, and crab/lobster crepes.

there have been a couple events happen that will require separate postings, but i have not as yet had time to write them...

this weekend we are at andrew (aka "mac") and lori mcdonald's house right outside savannah, georgia, with sean and tracy emery (and their two incredibly adorable sons)- it has been really cool to get to spend time with two people who have meant so much to jonathan over the past year- and their wives! (thanks to lori for her incredible hostessing abilities! :)

that is as much of an update as i can cram into one post- i apologize to those of you who have been asking how we're doing because i haven't posted... i haven't had internet for the past week, but i'll try to catch up- i promise! :)

'til death do us part

one year.

one year ago today, i became a new person. sara nave vanished into the past, and sara fisher began life anew.

i'm not really even sure what to say... the emotions that come along with this event are entirely surreal.

of the past 365 days, i have spent 28 with jonathan. it has not been an easy year. he comes home very soon, and for that i am thankful. many people say that our "real" marriage is about to start... and in some ways, i agree. we have not lived together, we have not shared in daily life experience together. but we HAVE walked through one of the most trying experiences any couple could go through... and we are coming through much stronger than we started. how can you get more "real" than that? one year ago, we had no idea what the next months would hold. we could not even imagine what deployment would look like, nor the frustrations and challenges it would bring. we knew it would be hard, but there are things you don't know until you walk it. all things considered, i think we have done well. i look forward with excitement (albeit mixed with some fear) to his homecoming and the new challenges and joys that will accompany it.

i celebrated our first wedding anniversary by getting a massage and having dessert with some dear friends. sadly, it is likely our second will be the same way. but in the middle will be some time that we will cherish more than others would, for we know that time is fleeting. my heart beats for those times.

for better or worse, jonathan, til death do us part...

out with the old, in with the new!

well, it has been a long while indeed. you know, every couple days i see my blog bookmarked and think, "i really should write something" ... then i tell myself why now is not a good time and go along with my business.

so, a few highlights from the most joyous of seasons, in no specific order... it's a bit long, so bear with me...

~ being able to spend all of the Christmas days with family:
*Christmas Eve after the church service josh, amy, katelyn, & ben came over to my apartment. we just hung out, since the fishers apparently have an aversion to picking up "it's a wonderful life" a half hour into it... it was enjoyable nonetheless
*after the church service (YES, i went to church... pagan me, went to church... :) ) on Christmas morning, i went over to Josh & Amy's for lunch, stuffing myself with great food
*3 hours later, i went to my brother and sister-in-law's house, stuffing myself with great food
~ Christmas night, playing a game until late at night with my family. (finally, we're breaking out of our trivial pursuit pattern!! i like games with a little less thought involved...)
~ the fact that the gift i bought for my 2-year-old nephew (a long stick with a claw on one end, enabling you to grab at things from a distance) was ALSO bought by my dad for my 30-year-old brother-in-law, dave. gotta love that.
~ reminding my parents how my kids will enjoy getting BOOKS for christmas, not the incessantly loud and obnoxious toys my nieces and nephews get from them. my dad was quick to tell me that it does not matter. they will get obnoxious ones nonetheless. great, i can't wait...
~ getting to go out with sara and beth, the previously mentioned friends from high school. always good times.
~ the day off work to go to indiana for yet another family christmas.... woo hoo!
~ the large tupperware bowl i got from my mom. funny how those things suddenly turn exciting when you grow up...
~ babysitting for various family and friends.... doing iris' hair so beautifully that even her dad's friend commented on how great it looked... and boy, could i tell you a story or two about those weeks kids! :)... ah, they're full of personality and energy... really, i had an amazingly enjoyable time watching all of them: allie, gracie, & emily hoskins, katelyn, jacob & caleb, iris & lila, and ginger, joe, giovonni, & jasmine weeks... made me realize how excited i am to be a mom, yet how willing i am to wait a while for it! :)
~ spending all day wednesday with the whole family in indiana...
~ finally being considered an adult because i'm married. (there are certain gifts and such in my family that you have to be married in order to get. not that they have any special significance, but they are reserved for couples only.)
~ seeing "sara and jon" on the tags of those gifts
~ the videos jon recorded for me, showing me a glimpse of his life
~ getting to hang out with jon's 2 sisters for new year's eve
~ getting my hair highlighted red the other night... but, that's another story......
~ watching movies on josh & amy's wall with ben's projector. yes, a projector. the man doesn't own a tv, but watches dvds on the "big screen."
~ one of those movies, in america. i loved it. it's about an irish family that moves to america after losing a son, and the challenges they encounter. it deals a lot with reaction to suffering, and also perceptions/stereotypes of people. it has a very loving husband and wife who go through amazingly tough times together. definitely recommend it.
~ thinking i dropped a ring down the sink, and BY MYSELF (with some brief instruction and lending of channel-locks from josh) taking apart the drain and putting it back together... i feel so independent... (of course, the ring wasn't there... it apparently was in a pocket, because it turned up the next day in the laundry... it was worth it to feel all army-wife-ish though!)
~ the chocolate chip soft-drop cookies from my mom. you know, it's not that they're even my favorite kind of cookies... but i don't think it'd be christmas without those red and green sprinkled cookies. though, finally, a few years ago, she stopped putting raisins in them. made them much better.

but, of all, the best was the wake-up call i got from jonathan on christmas eve. it was a lovely conversation. he got his dates for leave! woo hoo! i'm quite excited... but oh, so much to do, so much to do...

so, all in all, the holidays were good ones. there were quite a few hard times... christmas eve was especially difficult, being the one-year anniversary of jon's & my first conversation. and all this week... those memories of the things we were doing this time last year....

looking back on 2005, it's really amazing how far i've come. i have grown as a person, and my relationship with jon has blossomed into a great marriage. i have done this thing every year since probably... 1997 or so (actually, last year i didn't do it... i was a bit... uh.. "distracted" :) ) but i shall do it again this year. i make a list called (this year, for example) "on december 31, 2004, i never would have thought that..." (ok ok, i was 15 when i started doing it... sorry for the lame title...) but it gives me a chance to look back, and to remember for years to come, all the ways my life has changed. it's interesting, too... to look at the first few i did, they mostly involved short-lived high school relationships and top 40 songs. now, the things that make the list are much more significant... my life has changed incredibly, more than words can say. i even look differently now than i did a year ago. and now, i smile as i think of all the possibilities 2006 will bring... happy new year!

my 2 cents

** DISCLAIMER: I am not advocating the canceling of church on a regular basis, and I strongly feel that the body is important to the growth of the individual. When I originally wrote this post, I was trying to present the other side of the issue to people who automatically thought ill of the churches that did cancel. If you want more explanation, please read the comments section. Thanks!


it seems as though everyone (well, in a church office anyway...) has an opinion on it, so i thought i'd post mine... feel free to post yours in the comments section.

with christmas falling on a sunday, several mega-churches have decided to cancel services, sparking national debate. (this is one of the numerous news articles on the subject.) these churches are being accused of going too far in trying to fit into "today's culture." my church is having services, and i will be there... both on christmas eve AND on christmas day... but i will certainly not criticize those who don't.

growing up, my family had several christmas-oriented traditions. some for christmas eve, some for christmas day. and though we always were flexible (like post-poning christmas eve events until my brother could make it up from fort benning on christmas morning), and things have changed over the years (3 spouses and 4 grandkids require such), these things will always remain a part of my perception of christmas. but this year... well, this year nothing is the same. why? because we all must be at church on christmas morning. now, don't get me wrong. i as well will be at church. if i had a family, i'm sure we would go to church. but my question to you is... why is it such a big deal? please don't even try to tell me that it's to "put Christ first." to me, that is nothing more than a christian cliche. i don't know, maybe it's just because of my perception as a pastor's kid... but to me, putting myself in the shoes of a parent- let alone a pastor's wife- getting the kids up and ready to go to church on Christmas morning doesn't demonstrate putting CHRIST first... it demonstrates putting CHURCH first. because gosh darnit, if the church doors are open, we'll be there. and even better, we'll probably be the ones there early to unlock them and stay late to lock them back up. i'm not saying we shouldn't go to church, i'm not saying there's anything wrong with having services, please don't misunderstand me. but what i am saying is that what happens in the home is a million times more important in the life of a child than being forced to go to church 18 times a week. the role my parents played in my faith was not because they exposed me to church, but because i saw them live it in their lives. if these churches want to cancel services to be with their family, let them.

npr also had an interesting brief report on it. i'll admit, they have some idiots speaking on both sides of the issue. (i think my personal favorite was the suggestion to have a "pajama service"- everyone wear pjs and bring their gifts TO CHURCH so everyone can open them at church together. are you kidding me??)

i think that throughout this whole debate, the best way i can sum it up is to agree with one of the pastors interviewed in the npr report. he serves at a church in colorado springs that IS having services... but he is obviously fed up with the fact that the whole thing has become such a big deal. regarding churches' decision to cancel- and the debate that ensued- his attitude is one i absolutely agree with: "the sky is not falling, the kingdom of God will move forward, and life will go on."

in the words of dr. stowell.... "amen, and amen."

here's another one!

ta-daaa!!

well, this is it. after many many roadblocks, i finally have the tree decorated to my standards. though i must admit... this picture does not do its glory proper justice. even now, i sit, admiring its beauty... the beauty of my own tree...

christmas trees and movies i hate

i finally put up my christmas tree tonight. it has been in pieces on my living room floor for the past week...it's been a long time coming! i tried for about an hour last saturday to get the base put together...i ended up having to have amy do it...she's the woman! so tonight, after assembling the color-coded branches, i ended up with my first very own christmas tree. i excitedly started draping the lights...i have white and blue. much to my chagrin, i realized that i should have made sure they had green wiring! the blue look fantastic...but the white, eh, not so much, with wires of the same color. i shall go tomorrow to find better lights. so, i haven't finished decorating yet, since i'm going to change the lights. i'm rather excited for this...having your own christmas tree ranks right up their with having your own kitchen. not quite, but close.

on a completely unrelated note, what is it with stressful movies? ugh. i like happy movies where there are no bad guys and no stressful situations. apparently i should stick with disney... i watched the war of the worlds a few nights ago. i thought it was good...and it's not like i got scared or freaked out...but it was SO stressful! my heart was racing the entire time. and my other recent view...millions. if you have never seen it, it's definitely worth a trip to the video store on a bored night. it's rated pg (though has some scenes that i definitely would rate at a pg-13), and is about two little boys who find millions of pounds only days before england changes to the euro. really, it's not the plot that's intriguing...it's the way it is filmed. it is fantastic. the aerial shots, the scene transitions...all very interesting. so as i was watching it, i thought to myself, "you know, this is really great. a cute movie about two little boys who are having the time of their lives spending money." then, i hear it. the sound i hate. dramatic music. it's normally either a lower bass note held out, or a minor chord. either way, i hate it. though i have to admit, i do appreciate being fore-warned. and i heed its call...last night, i immediately closed my eyes and turned the other way...a position i would hold for much of the movie, come to find out. what is it with me? ah, there are the reasons i don't like to think about...having been robbed (for starters) at gunpoint in a parking lot, having a husband at war...these probably factor in. come to think of it, before these things happened i could handle movies much better. ah, but maybe i'm just getting wimpier in my old age. in many ways, i'd like to think the latter.

so am i destined for a life of elf and finding nemo? i sure hope not. ah, alas, maybe it will be more tolerable when i can watch these movies in my husband's arms...and if that doesn't even help, well, then we'll all know i'm just a wimp. hey, there's worse things to be, right?

two great things

remember in the last post when i said i have purposed to be jolly? i'm proud to say that i'm being rather successful. everyone at work is already annoyed with the amount of christmas music i've listened to...must be doing something right! tonight katelyn and i are watching "elf"- i strongly recommend it. "there are a few things you should know about new york: 1) if you find gum on the street, leave it. it's not free candy. ... 3) if you see a sign that says "peep show," that does not mean they're letting you look at the presents before christmas." what wonderful words of wisdom from santa.

last night i went to an adoption meeting thing with amy. it was fabulous. it made me want to adopt internationally! they had 3 families share their stories. the coolest was this family that has 11 kids in 14 years- the oldest, the youngest, and one toward the middle are the only biological. they have 6 different cultures represented in their family. 2 of the oldest boys- who are now 30 years old- were there and shared their side of it. that was really neat, to see it from the perspective of an adult who was adopted. the theme of the evening was how to integrate the child's birth culture into his/her life and the whole family. they had some really great practical suggestions. they offered tips on not only incorporating food, clothing, or simple phrases into daily life, but also to volunteer to teach your child's class about his/her birth country, or to have an "adoption day" every year commemorating the day the child was brought into the family. then, we ate food from the three countries their adoption agency works with- china, guatemala, and russia. i quite enjoyed it.

so, my two recommendations for the day: 1) watch "elf." 2) adopt internationally. (hey, one out of two ain't bad...)

oh, a few more quotes for the road... "i like smiling. smiling's my favorite." "i'm just happy to meet another human who shares my affinity for elf culture." "have you seen these toilets? they're ginormous!"

the secret enemy

i wrote this about 2 weeks ago, but never posted it...enjoy…

well, i finally figured it out. this week i discovered why stores put out christmas decorations so early. to make more money? nope. to satiate consumer’s need to have? wrong again. it’s for military families who have to start thinking about christmas ridiculously early in order to get it overseas in time. yep, i have thoroughly convinced myself that the world is good and they do this all for me….

seriously though. tuesday night i ventured to meijer to buy some decorations to send to jon. an entire corner of the store dedicated to such an event! then, it started. yes, what every military wife dreads. the tears. they are like this secret enemy lurking in the depths of your being, waiting to attack at the least opportune time possible. one time it was the camera section at best buy. this time, meijer. as i pushed my shopping cart down the aisle, choosing various lights, ornaments, and decorations, tears streamed down my face. then, of course, i started laughing at the fact that i was having a near breakdown in meijer. what a sight i must have been!

see, not only did the realization hit that i will be spending christmas alone, but also the memories of jonathan…we met at christmastime. ah well. it must have just been a low ES day. (i have a system rating my level of emotional stability- it helps people in my life know how hard or lightly to tread!) so thus begins the season of merriment…i have decided to get into an extraordinarily jolly christmas spirit to try to combat me wanting to kick people in the shins when they talk about holiday plans and such…but who knows…maybe sometime that secret enemy will rear its head too…