Seriously??

Remember how I complained yesterday? Today's "true" high is 93- heat index of 103. Sheesh.

Mon, September 15

Time

Condition

Feels Like

Chance Precip

Dew Point

Humid.

11am

Mostly Sunny 87°F

95°F

20%

74°F

65%

12pm

Mostly Sunny 89°F

98°F

20%

74°F

61%

1pm

Mostly Sunny 90°F

99°F

20%

73°F

57%

2pm

Mostly Sunny 91°F

100°F

20%

73°F

55%

3pm

Mostly Sunny 92°F

102°F

20%

73°F

54%

Evening Commute

4pm

Sunny 93°F

103°F

20%

73°F

52%

5pm

Sunny 92°F

102°F

20%

73°F

54%

6pm

Sunny 89°F

98°F

20%

74°F

61%

7pm

Partly Cloudy 86°F

94°F

20%

74°F

67%

Memorize THIS!

Let me say up front: I'm not a huge fan of AWANA.

It has its place, it has touched thousands of kids' lives over the years. Most importantly, it has instilled a love for the Word of God in their minds.

If you're not familiar, AWANA (Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed- it comes from 2 Timothy 2:15- and you thought the Army's acronyms are bad! ;-) is a kids program that focuses on Bible memorization. There is game time, a lesson, and certainly friends- but the focus is the memorization.

That's my problem with it. I don't think memorizing Scripture is bad, mind you. Quite the opposite. And, I have to acknowledge that AWANA has changed since I was in it, 15-20 years ago. It has been updated and probably is a much more quality program now.

Here is the way I remember AWANA: memorizing verses from the Old King James, which had words I didn't know. Of course, they put the definitions for said words in the margins... in almost as incomprehensible language... for a 2nd grader.

My BIGGEST problem with it, though, is the rewards system. It worked great for ME! I am good at memorizing and often had my book completed well before Christmas. I was in AWANA for 10 years; by the end my leader was just giving me chapters to memorize, because I had done everything else.

But what about the kids who aren't inherently good at memorizing?

They can work at it, they can say their verses. But there was always this feeling that being a "good Christian" was synonymous with finishing your AWANA book. They probably already struggle with school; the last thing they need is to come to church and feel the same inferiority.

Do you not think that they make this comparison? By completing sections of the book, kids LITERALLY get JEWELS in their CROWNS!!! WHAT?!?!?!? You have GOT to be kidding me! These small plastic crowns and jewels (which have holes if they are not filled) adorn their uniforms. Again, I must say- I think the system and uniforms have changed since then. But, that is what I remember.

This only feeds the culture of American Christianity: spirituality is a formula. Did you pray and do your devos? Good. You get a gold star in God's book for today! Wait, what? You haven't done your devos (shortened for "devotions", aka "quiet time" for those of you who were not in a youth group in the 90s...) in THREE DAYS? Backslider!

I really react to that. Again, I think studying and reading the Word of God are great things for a Christian to do; that cannot be argued. There is also something to say for maintaining the discipline of it.

Jon and I plan to memorize passages (yes, passages- not individual verses which are so easily ripped out of context) with our kids, just as his family did.

But equating being a "good Christian" with a Pharisaical check-the-box to-do list (think they don't exist? You MUST not have been in a youth group in the 90s...) is far from the call to love to which Christ beckons.

Hm. I was not intending on going off on that rabbit trail.

The POINT of this post was actually more of a question. I'm sitting here studying for my midterm and found myself relying on some of the memorization skills I learned in AWANA. That made me wonder a "chicken-egg" kind of question- did I do well in AWANA because I'm a good memorizer, or am I a good memorizer because I did well in AWANA?

In days of old, grade school education relied MUCH more heavily on rote memorization than it does today. Is this a disservice to our kids? What do you think? Does memorization come easily for you? How do you think that is related to the amount which you had to memorize as a young child? (I don't mean high school- I'm talking about early elementary) I don't remember ever memorizing anything in school- even addition and subtraction had nifty tricks to it.

Just curious.

Anyway, back to my tangent. If you like AWANA, I certainly don't mean to offend (though, while I'm on the subject, can we all agree that the word does not have an S on the end? It is not AwanaS...) I certainly loved it as a kid- Wednesdays were the highlight of my week! I wished it wouldn't end for the summer- I wanted to do it year-round! I still remember many of those verses today (though, for some, it took until college to figure out what they meant...) I just wonder if maybe there is a better way, a way that instills in kids a love for Scripture that is not academic.

I suppose, if nothing else, it is indisputably helping me do well on my midterm this week...

Cousins!

First of all, thanks for your comments on yesterday's post. I actually emailed the pastor, sharing with him my experience- he wrote back, apologizing for how it was handled, but defending their strict enforcement of this policy. He mentioned several people left the church when they implemented it... wonder why... Part of me wants to argue the issue with him, but it's fruitless. My emotion is better spent on other things.

Anyway...

On a happier note, Sophie met more cousins! My sister's family and some of their friends stopped in on their way to Florida for Spring Break. While they were taking these pictures, at one point Iris (9) was holding Sophie, and somehow Andrea and Lila (5) both stepped on the air mattress at the same time, causing Iris- and Sophie- to tumble backwards. Sophie didn't cry, or really even react- Lila said, in an encouraging mothering tone, "Oh, you're such a brave little baby..." It was cute. It was really great to see all of them, albeit only for a few hours!

We really need to work on saying "cheese" with Sophie...

Another one bites the dust...

It has happened.

I have entered a world previously unknown to me.

The world where kid-friendliness matters. Suddenly, I am annoyed when public restrooms don't have baby changing stations, stores don't have enough room to maneuver strollers, and schedules do not allow for proper bed-times.

Today, I had a first in this world-

my first bad church nursery experience.

You see, with us planning on moving to Savannah, we had begun looking for a local church before Jon left. We found one we really love, but I'm not sure the schedule will work with the Post Chapel. There was one other we were quite interested in, so I gave it a chance.

I could go on and on about my experience. The music was great, the style I enjoyed. However, no one said hi to me. Not one person. And it was only about a church of 50 or so, so it's not like I blended in...

I had Sophie with me, as I usually do in church. If she gets fussy (that's a big IF- I have a very well-mannered little girl), I am prompt to take her out- either to the nursery or to the foyer.

Until today.

I was told I HAD to leave her in the nursery. No option. A man came up to me after the music, and said (no "Hello! Glad you could join us!") - simply- "Ma'am, we have a nursery." Despite his stern tone, I smiled and said, "Oh, I know- she'll need to eat soon so I'll take her back then." The pastor was getting up to preach, so I turned back toward the front of the auditorium. "Ma'am, she needs to be in there before the teaching begins."

I was appalled.

She needed to eat, and I was in shock, so I didn't say anything (well, other than an "uuuuh....okkkkk..." muttered under my breath...) . I quickly grabbed our things and went back to the nursery. No. "Went" is the wrong word. Try more "was escorted by two men."

I felt like I was wearing a big scarlet "M" for "Mother" on my chest.

I was led into the nursery, where the two workers barely acknowledged my existence. Quite literally. They didn't even look at me until I had been in there probably 2 or 3 minutes, and even then, they said "hi" and went back to their conversation.

When Sophie was done eating, I had a quandary... I sat there contemplating it while they chatted. Finally, having convinced myself there is one renegade deacon whose life purpose it is to rid the auditorium of minors, I said, "Um... I prefer to keep her with me, but I was, uh, 'strongly encouraged' to bring her back here..."

They informed me in no uncertain terms that I was not to bring my child into the auditorium.

So, with 40 minutes left to the service, I left.

I understand nurseries- but I do not leave my daughter with people I just met. I don't know the church's child care policy, if they do background checks, what training the workers have- and I'm not about to leave my daughter with someone I'm not confident in (though I'm sure these women were great- it wasn't personal).

So, my options were to stay in the nursery and continue to be ignored, or leave.

When I got back out to the car, I cried.

I second-guessed my decision- maybe I should have just gone back into the service with her- they could deal with it. But honestly, at that point I had no desire to be in that building.

I still am in utter disbelief that that happened. Seriously? They told me, a first-time visitor, what I can and cannot do with my child? I mean, I have mixed feelings about kids in the church service- I believe strongly in both age-appropriate teaching AND in teaching kids how to sit quietly in church and the liturgy of my tradition. Either way, that is OUR decision as parents- not yours as someone I've never met. (I do wonder how the situation might have gone down differently had Jon been standing next to me...) Does this church really value family so little that they make visitors feel unwelcome to make sure kids don't disrupt their perfect little service?

I understand some kids are distracting in church. I really do. That's why I take mine out when she just starts getting fidgety and before she ever cries. But again, that decision is up to me.

Suffice it to say I'm not going back.

Out of the loop...

So, to divert my attention from Jon leaving, last weekend I sold out.

Yes.

I joined Facebook.

But, alas and alack, it has been quite fun! I've connected with friends I haven't talked to or seen in years. Some I had forgotten exist.

Anyway- that trip down memory lane has gotten me thinking of my Moody Days, which led to a disconcerting discovery:

WHEN DID DR. J GO TO CORNERSTONE?

WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?

Seriously, folks. Our beloved Dr. Joseph M. Stowell the Third (referred to by loving students as Dr. J) has gone to Cornerstone University as THEIR president. I feel betrayed.

I knew he left a couple years after I did to pastor at Harvest Bible Chapel, where his son ministers. That's cool. I can handle that.

No offense, Cornerstonians (is that what you're called? I made it up)... but Dr. J will always be a Moody fixture.

On that note, how the heck does Michael Easley have his own Wikipedia article, and the highly revered Stowell doesn't? It's an outrage.

ETA: Ok, so I Googled it, and it only happened a month ago. Still...

A sad day.

Have you ever had old peanut butter?

One time I was at someone else's house, and they didn't frequently eat it. The result was a partially eaten jar in their cupboard that was so old it literally tasted like peanut SHELLS.

I had the same experience today- but, sadly, with Girl Scout cookies.

Yes, friends, our beloved Tagalongs (aka Peanut Butter Patties) have changed. A quick google search confirmed my suspicions... the recipe has changed.

But why, might you ask, would they do something outrageous like that?

Well, they gave in... they sacrificed taste on the altar of the trans-fat-free lifestyle.

Really, Girl Scouts?

They're COOKIES!

They're SUPPOSED to be bad for you!

Arg. That's the last time I'll buy them... I think I'll stick with Reese's cookies from now on...

When "God's Will" isn't God's will

"The Lord is leading me to..."

"The Spirit is guiding me..."

We've all heard it. Many of us have probably even said it. God is directing us to fill-in-the-blank.

I think my personal favorite was when it was commonly used at Bible school in reference to dating. "The Lord is leading me to date you"... and subsequently, "The Lord is leading me to break up with you." Since when did God impart divine wisdom through fickle 19-year-old hormones?

My brother has a friend who had a similar situation. Wanting to marry his girlfriend, he approached her father. The father said that God told him it was not His will for her to marry him. The boyfriend responded, "Well, God told me that it is."

I do not doubt that there are times that God really does direct and lead people to do things.

I also do not doubt that such words have been uttered not at the Spirit's prompting, but instead as a manipulation tactic.

You don't like your daughter's boyfriend? Say it's not God's will.

You don't like the decision leadership has made? Claim God's leading otherwise.

You aren't happy in any given situation in life? Attribute your feelings to God, and no one will have a leg to stand on.

I mean, come on, when someone tells you that God told them to do something, what do you say to that?

I strongly believe that God is not impressed at all when people use His name to further their own agenda, and I believe that it happens more than most of us would like to admit. Not only do the church's "troublemakers" do it, volunteers do it, deacons do it, pastors do it...

And no one questions it.

It is a matter of the heart that is not only personal, but deeply spiritual.

This thought came to me this morning, as there is a small... ahem... "issue" surrounding a decision I (and others) made last spring.

This is incredibly frustrating to me. How do you know when it's God and when it's not? More so, how do I know when it's God telling you to do something?

I mean, unless asked, I do not make any attempts to tell you what God is saying to you. However, when what you claim God tells you directly impacts my life, I feel like I should have a say.

You know, there are very few people who I would without question (or at least with few questions) accept what they told me from God. Very.few.people.

But can I tell you how difficult it is to even allude to someone that I wholeheartedly believe they are hiding behind alleged spirituality to get their way?

There is, as you can probably tell, much more to this situation, as well as to my thoughts and feelings on it.

Suffice it to say that it's at times like this that I'm thankful I have the thick skin which comes with the experience of being a pastor's kid.

By the way, you'll be happy to know that the boyfriend and his young love mentioned earlier have been happily married for several years.

Guess God decided to bless after all...

Ugh...

As you may know, I'm taking Women in Society in school right now. Suffice it to say I don't exactly see eye to eye with either the author of my textbook or my professor. But hey, that's ok. It has evoked much passion in me... well, pretty much just frustration... (I have to ask, are gender roles a BAD thing? Yes, I can admit they exist... is that WRONG? Anyway, I digress...)

Just frustration, until tonight. Tonight, for the first time, I read something I passionately agreed with. I was reading the chapter on Gender-based Violence for a paper due this weekend, when I stumbled across a term I was not familiar with: Double Victimization. Let me back up for a second... when I read in the essay assignment that we needed to cover this term, I figured it had something to do with the double standard of women being considered either too prudish or too easy, and nothing in between, creating the sexual double standard. Whatever. I don't think that's necessarily accurate, but whatever.

Until I read what the term actually means: It is when a woman is victimized in a crime, then again by the criminal justice system. (Backing up again, if you don't know my story, now would be a good time to read it here.)

I was amazed how much passion this ignited! I could feel my heart beating hurriedly as my fingers strove to type as quickly as I was thinking so I could express myself in my paper (fortunately, our professor looks for informal, self-reflective essays...) Those jerks! Those mean, creepy old men who were working for the Ottawa County Sheriff's Department!! How in the world are THEY going to tell me that I didn't "respond the way a woman in [my] situation would respond"?? How do they think that their "thirty years in the business" trumps my personal and horrific experience? What gave them the right to lecture me about how I had wasted their time and they really should be arresting me for "falsely reporting a crime"?? How... in the name of all that is right in this world... did they purposefully convince me that the man who was found by another officer- who MATCHED MY DESCRIPTION to the 911 dispatcher- was NOT the man who did this, and an hour later MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY for "ruining that innocent man's morning"??? And to top it all off, why did they think it was in any way appropriate to question my sanity??? (Try to hear this in a condescending, patronizing, sing-songy voice: "No, Sara, we don't think you're lying... we just don't think that what you said really happened...")

We found out later that, because of a nearby college campus, this particular department gets falsely reported rapes and other sexual assaults often (though, this does make me wonder if they were really falsely reported, or if these condescending and chauvinistic men made these women believe that it was actually consensual...??)

After my dad wrote an inflammatory letter to the sheriff's department, we did get an official apology and a visit by a personal representative of the sheriff (being the week of Christmas, the Sheriff- and the main detective, who is a believer, mind you- were on vacation...) But I have to wonder if those men ever were reprimanded for what they did to me?

Forget for a moment what the aggressor did. We all know what he did was wrong, and that the emotions that experience evokes are completely valid. But what about the fact that it put a serious distrust of our police force in the depths of my heart? What about the fact that now, the image that comes to my mind when someone says the words "Sheriff's Department" are not men and women protecting the peace and lawfulness of our society, but rather two men who, truth be told, make me feel worse about myself than the man who did this?

Don't get me wrong. I really appreciate our police force and all they do, and I certainly do not believe they are all corrupt- or chauvinistic. Jon's Chaplain Assistant's civilian job is a cop, and honestly, Sgt. Franklin has probably done more good in reconciling his occupation with "good" in my mind than anything. I don't hate cops.

That said, it infuriates me that those men got away with that. Hopefully, they have since retired and will not cause anyone else the pain they caused me.

Lest you think I'm turning liberal...

I am studying for my American Social Problems final right now. Can I tell you how much this book frustrates me? It is written with an incredible liberal slant! Any time the current President is mentioned, it is quickly followed up with an explanation of how he is wrong- SEVERAL times throughout the book! Bush's Faith-Based Initiatives is brutally attacked, while every other governmental policy on poverty and aid is left untouched. I understand that the authors may not feel that FBI is best, but is a college textbook the place for that? They even slammed him for getting into Yale on his family connections, because he doesn't support affirmative action but was a recipeient of it. I think the authors of this book forget that the government did not have a policy in force to REQUIRE Yale to let him in. Ugh.

It also manipulates statistics. Here's one example: The text pointed out how 73% of characters on prime time network television shows are white- what an outrage! However, in doing research for the subsequent paper on racism I had to write, I realized that 74% of Americans ARE white! Is that racism, or simply an adequate representation?

I suppose that being a sociology major I'm asking for it...

ETA: I just read that what matters is not whether you are male or female, but where you individually choose to live on the "gender continuum"...

amazing grace?

we saw it tonight. today was the opening day of the amazing grace movie. my parents went to see it earlier in the day and had given it good reviews, so i was quite excited. i won't comment on the movie for now except to say that you should go see it! Christian cliches were kept to a small minimum... and after googling them when i came home, i realized that john newton (who spoke them in the movie) actually originally penned them!

that is all i shall say on the movie... for now...

no, coming home at close to one in the morning, there is something else pressing on my mind: the woman who sat next to me at the theater. she was the epitomy of what you don't want the person sitting next to you to be! She talked through the entire thing... it seemed like every thought she had she vocalized. any moderately emotional part, she responded with "mmm... how cool..." or "that is so cute" or "good for him!" or "that's just great"- it drove me crazy. i digress.

the point is that, between the previews and the movie, a coke commercial celebrating black history was shown. this woman, the SAME one who sang the praises of william wilberforce and the abolitionist movement, she said during this commercial, and i quote, "blah blah blah."

BLAH BLAH BLAH?? you're at a movie celebrating abolition of slavery and you "blah blah blah" the black history commercial?

so what... we should abolish slavery but supress the race after that? we should avoid any contribution they have made? it's a 30 second coke commercial... you are bored with history after 30 seconds? you glorify the "amazing grace" of God (and rightly so), yet you are unwilling to extend his grace in your own life by recognizing what a particular race has accomplished?

blech.

if there was anything i could have changed about the movie, it would have been that woman.

an open letter to customer service reps

if you are a customer service representative and you ever get me on the phone, please, i beg of you, do not call me "hun." or "sweetie." or any other term that makes me feel like an 8-year-old.

actually, unless you are my husband or a very close friend, please do not use any sort of term of endearment whatsoever. i am NOT endeared to you.

i may sound like a teenager on the phone (and look like one in person...), but i assure you that i am a grown adult.

i am not "playing wife." the account i'm calling about is real.

and especially, ESPECIALLY, if you can't give me any information because my husband's is the only name on the account, ESPECIALLY then i am NOT AT ALL endeared to you.

never mind the fact that i can spout off his social and date of birth faster than i can my own (when people ask me for mine, i have to think a minute- his comes to mind first these days).

unless you want me to start paying my bills with pretend money, please start treating me like an adult.

my 2 cents

** DISCLAIMER: I am not advocating the canceling of church on a regular basis, and I strongly feel that the body is important to the growth of the individual. When I originally wrote this post, I was trying to present the other side of the issue to people who automatically thought ill of the churches that did cancel. If you want more explanation, please read the comments section. Thanks!


it seems as though everyone (well, in a church office anyway...) has an opinion on it, so i thought i'd post mine... feel free to post yours in the comments section.

with christmas falling on a sunday, several mega-churches have decided to cancel services, sparking national debate. (this is one of the numerous news articles on the subject.) these churches are being accused of going too far in trying to fit into "today's culture." my church is having services, and i will be there... both on christmas eve AND on christmas day... but i will certainly not criticize those who don't.

growing up, my family had several christmas-oriented traditions. some for christmas eve, some for christmas day. and though we always were flexible (like post-poning christmas eve events until my brother could make it up from fort benning on christmas morning), and things have changed over the years (3 spouses and 4 grandkids require such), these things will always remain a part of my perception of christmas. but this year... well, this year nothing is the same. why? because we all must be at church on christmas morning. now, don't get me wrong. i as well will be at church. if i had a family, i'm sure we would go to church. but my question to you is... why is it such a big deal? please don't even try to tell me that it's to "put Christ first." to me, that is nothing more than a christian cliche. i don't know, maybe it's just because of my perception as a pastor's kid... but to me, putting myself in the shoes of a parent- let alone a pastor's wife- getting the kids up and ready to go to church on Christmas morning doesn't demonstrate putting CHRIST first... it demonstrates putting CHURCH first. because gosh darnit, if the church doors are open, we'll be there. and even better, we'll probably be the ones there early to unlock them and stay late to lock them back up. i'm not saying we shouldn't go to church, i'm not saying there's anything wrong with having services, please don't misunderstand me. but what i am saying is that what happens in the home is a million times more important in the life of a child than being forced to go to church 18 times a week. the role my parents played in my faith was not because they exposed me to church, but because i saw them live it in their lives. if these churches want to cancel services to be with their family, let them.

npr also had an interesting brief report on it. i'll admit, they have some idiots speaking on both sides of the issue. (i think my personal favorite was the suggestion to have a "pajama service"- everyone wear pjs and bring their gifts TO CHURCH so everyone can open them at church together. are you kidding me??)

i think that throughout this whole debate, the best way i can sum it up is to agree with one of the pastors interviewed in the npr report. he serves at a church in colorado springs that IS having services... but he is obviously fed up with the fact that the whole thing has become such a big deal. regarding churches' decision to cancel- and the debate that ensued- his attitude is one i absolutely agree with: "the sky is not falling, the kingdom of God will move forward, and life will go on."

in the words of dr. stowell.... "amen, and amen."

christmas trees and movies i hate

i finally put up my christmas tree tonight. it has been in pieces on my living room floor for the past week...it's been a long time coming! i tried for about an hour last saturday to get the base put together...i ended up having to have amy do it...she's the woman! so tonight, after assembling the color-coded branches, i ended up with my first very own christmas tree. i excitedly started draping the lights...i have white and blue. much to my chagrin, i realized that i should have made sure they had green wiring! the blue look fantastic...but the white, eh, not so much, with wires of the same color. i shall go tomorrow to find better lights. so, i haven't finished decorating yet, since i'm going to change the lights. i'm rather excited for this...having your own christmas tree ranks right up their with having your own kitchen. not quite, but close.

on a completely unrelated note, what is it with stressful movies? ugh. i like happy movies where there are no bad guys and no stressful situations. apparently i should stick with disney... i watched the war of the worlds a few nights ago. i thought it was good...and it's not like i got scared or freaked out...but it was SO stressful! my heart was racing the entire time. and my other recent view...millions. if you have never seen it, it's definitely worth a trip to the video store on a bored night. it's rated pg (though has some scenes that i definitely would rate at a pg-13), and is about two little boys who find millions of pounds only days before england changes to the euro. really, it's not the plot that's intriguing...it's the way it is filmed. it is fantastic. the aerial shots, the scene transitions...all very interesting. so as i was watching it, i thought to myself, "you know, this is really great. a cute movie about two little boys who are having the time of their lives spending money." then, i hear it. the sound i hate. dramatic music. it's normally either a lower bass note held out, or a minor chord. either way, i hate it. though i have to admit, i do appreciate being fore-warned. and i heed its call...last night, i immediately closed my eyes and turned the other way...a position i would hold for much of the movie, come to find out. what is it with me? ah, there are the reasons i don't like to think about...having been robbed (for starters) at gunpoint in a parking lot, having a husband at war...these probably factor in. come to think of it, before these things happened i could handle movies much better. ah, but maybe i'm just getting wimpier in my old age. in many ways, i'd like to think the latter.

so am i destined for a life of elf and finding nemo? i sure hope not. ah, alas, maybe it will be more tolerable when i can watch these movies in my husband's arms...and if that doesn't even help, well, then we'll all know i'm just a wimp. hey, there's worse things to be, right?