Reflections on Fort Hood

I have had many emotions since first hearing of the shootings last Thursday. My heart broke as I read the Facebook status update from a girl I know who recently moved to Fort Hood with her new husband. Immediately I Googled it to find more information.

At first, it was a horrible incident, but no details were known.

Then it came out that the shooter was not only a Major, but a psychiatrist.

The feelings I had at that point were indescribable. Mostly just extreme sadness.

I do not know the tragedy of war first-hand. I do, however, know it second- and third-hand, just as Major Hasan did. With a husband (and several friends) in an Army helping profession, I have seen the toll this can take on a person. And to be a psychiatrist at Walter Reed? That must have been a terribly difficult job. I’m not saying that this in any way justifies what he did. I guess what I am saying is that sometimes the unseen collateral from this war is the mental effect on Soldiers and those around them.

Some other thoughts:

~ To use President Obama’s words, “not speculating” about things we do not know is responsible. The night it happened, I was waiting for the press conference with General Cone to come on, and in that short hour, I was amazed how many things were speculated on. Even with the “of course, this is all speculation” caveat at the end of a long conversation, ideas were planted in peoples’ minds that may or may not be true. Remember this. Why even go there until we know?

~ NOT ALL MUSLIMS WANT TO KILL AMERICANS. In fact, “Muslim” and “American” are not mutually exclusive. Many Muslims ARE Americans. Many Muslims serve in the armed forces proudly. Not all Muslims are terrorists. (For that matter, not all terrorists are Muslims). Was Major Hasan a terrorist? I have absolutely no idea. Unless you want all Christians to be represented by Westboro Baptist Church (who consider the Fort Hood massacre as a judgment by God – the “Christian” God – on sinful America), please do not paint all Muslims with the extremist brush either.

~ Speaking out against the war is not illegal. Many great Soldiers are not in favor of this war and continue to follow orders. Some of the same people who cried out against the “hate crime” bill on the basis of it limiting free speech against homosexuality now seem to want to limit free speech against the government and its actions.

My prayers are with the families directly affected by this tragedy, as well as those indirectly affected. I think in some way the entire Army family has been affected, and I believe we all can feel that. It’s astounding grief.

I write this because I have seen a saddening amount of backlash over the last several days. In the midst of all our grief and fears, let’s not jump to conclusions. Let us not judge others on the basis of speculation. Instead, let’s pray for them. Show love to everyone, regardless of religion or ethnicity. And maybe we’re asking the wrong questions. Let’s start asking what we can do to help Soldiers, what we can do to support those in the military helping professions. That said, there is a lot of help available that people just do not take advantage of. Why is that? Maybe if we can begin to answer these questions, it will make us all better off.

(updated at bottom) For Matt:

But others are free to comment as well!!!! (That was for Andrea.)

Anyway -

Here's the story. In 2003, a 13-year-old girl named Savana was accused by a classmate of having prescription-strength Ibuprofen. Savana was called to the assistant principal's office, where a nurse made her take off all her clothes, then move her underwear aside, to search for drugs. None were found. Savana was a straight-A student who had never been in trouble in school before.

Oh, one more thing - her parents were not notified...

According to her, she didn't question it at the time, because they were people she trusted, and she really wasn't sure what was going on.
Her mother sued, and after several hearings, it is in front of the Supreme Court today.

So what do you think? Did the school have the right to do this? How would you feel if it had happened to your daughter - safer that the school is taking such a stance on drugs, or violated that she was stripped without your knowledge? If you think the school acted appropriately, would you feel the same way if it were a male doing the search?

Here's one article on the story - though if you Google "Savana Redding Supreme Court" you will come up with a lot. I originally heard it on NPR's Morning Edition - it's worth the 8 minute listen.

The Court's decision is not out yet - I'm very interested to see what it is...

Here is an article written this afternoon chronicling the hearing - apparently they expect a decision in June.

Christmas Peace

My friend Megan wrote a beautiful post that is a great follow-up to my last one. Though many are hurting, we know that the Prince of Peace comes to offer hope! If you don't have time to read the whole thing (which you should!), at least scroll down and read what's in green toward the bottom...

A Revelation

I have been given an amazing gift this Christmas season. It was probably costly, but not expensive. It is laced with beauty, but not found in diamonds or jewels. No, this Christmas season I've been given the gift of understanding.

Understanding how awesome it is that Jesus came to our world.

Understanding the idea that He began His journey to redeem the world on that lonely Christmas night.

Understanding what the true meaning of Christmas is all about.

In my devotions, I've been reading about the promise of Christ throughout the entire Old Testament. How Christ has reigned supreme since the very beginning of time. God revealed Christ for the very first time when He said to the serpent, "You will bruise His heel, but He will crush your head." Again, He declared the promise to Abram when He declared that "all the peoples of the earth shall be blessed through you." Abram knew God wasn't talking about Him, but of the One who was to come through Abram's line of descent. David received the promise of the Messiah when the Lord God said, "your kingdom will reign forever." Again, David knew it had nothing to do with him, but everything to do with God redeeming the world.

In the book of Isaiah, we find four songs of the servant, which can also be referred to as Messianic prophecies. One that has always been read during the Christmas season is Isaiah 9:6-7:

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called, Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the increase of government and peace, there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this."

What I find to be amazing are the verses that precede this text, rarely ever read together:

"Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress. In the past he humbled the land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, but in the future he will honor Galilee of the Gentiles, by the way of the sea, along the Jordan - The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned. You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy; they rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest, as men rejoice when dividing the plunder. For as in the day of Midian's defeat, you have shattered the yoke that burdens them, the bar across their shoulders, the rod of their oppressor. Every warrior's boot used in battle and every garment rolled in blood will be destined for burning, will be fuel for the fire. For unto us a child is born...."

Do you see what I'm getting at? How incredible it is that the one who brought peace came in the form of a baby! I have many other thoughts on this that I will write in another post, but for now I want to focus on the issue of peace. Reading my friend Sara's blog the other day, reminded me of the war-filled world we live in. Having her husband as an Army Chaplain, I doubt that she is ever able to think otherwise. It is sad for me to read stories of real people who are losing their lives. Men and women who are fighting for our country, but also wars that are taking place around the world that we don't even know about. Civil wars like the ones in Africa, tribal wars, religious wars, etc. take place always. Will peace ever come to be in this world of hatred and hurt?

Yet, in this passage in Isaiah, God says that there is One greater than all of this. There is One who will bring peace. And peace means so much more than just an absence of war or an inner calm. My devotion suggested it as, "completeness, wholeness, fullness, soundness, firmness, safety, well-being, prosperity, and contentment." Being a Wonderful Counselor indicates wisdom and royalty; "Mighty God" is associated with power and victory; "Everlasting Father" points to His eternal and divine origins; and "Prince of Peace" means he brings peace and well-being to the earth.

It is so humbling to me to think of my God coming to earth as a human. Think of a baby you know and love; maybe your own child. Think of Christ in that precious form. Knowing that those tiny hands would be nailed to a cross. That those tiny little feet would take the grueling steps toward redeeming the world as the world threw insults and hatred at him. That his sweet, soft skin would be covered in stripes of blood. And that through all of this, we have the promise of peace. True peace that no President, pastor or peace treaty can provide.

Why is it we tend to bypass this great truth? Why do we only look to the cross on Easter? For truly, that little baby was looking to the cross on that miraculous Christmas night. I will never cease to be thankful.

The Undelivered Address

"Oh yes, they will agree, war is horrible. War is hell.

And yet, in the pale anemic minds, there is a kind of worship of this same horror of war...

Now, you and I don’t stand in such awe and adoration. We don’t think war deserves it."

April 12, 1945. America had faced economic depression and all-encompassing war. Franklin Roosevelt was in the midst of his fourth term as president and was to give a speech in honor of Jefferson Day the following morning. He was posing for a painting in Warm Springs, Georgia, when he suffered a cerebral hemorrhage and passed away.

Jon & I saw this speech at the FDR museum a few weeks ago. Struck by it, I came home and promptly Googled it... what I found was several versions of it, but not this one. I called the museum about the inconsistency. Apparently no one knows what version was the last, but they do know that the one that follows had his handwritten notes on it, so it was definitely a draft he was considering.

This blog is not a political one. I have ventured more into that arena in the past couple weeks than I usually do. And I post this not as a political statement, but as a realistic one. War is hell.

As a Christian- and a realist- I know that "the end to the beginnings of all wars" will not happen until Christ returns. I am fully aware of that. Yet, I applaud the sentiment in this speech. I, too, think that war gets romanticized, glorified. I personally believe there is a line between supporting the troops and glorifying war- and that line gets all too often blurred.

For now, I will let the speech speak for itself.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt's Undelivered Address:

My friends:

Knowing that you are gathered tonight in cities, in towns, from one end of the country to the other, to give expression of your loyalty, I wish that I had the power, just for an evening, of being a thousand places at once.

I, too, feel the old need of a homecoming, the old urge to show up among the folks, and to take pride with you in the fact that we are Democrats.

I have spoken to my doctor about my inability to be in more than one spot at a time, but he tells me the condition is chronic. There is nothing he can do about it.

But, I am with you in heart. And in these times of trial, this greatest of all tests of men and the leaders of men, of nations, and the community of nations – up to this decisive hour, I know that you have stood, and you stand now, most loyally side by side with me.

Let me tell you that I am strengthened by that knowledge. Let me assure you that my hand is the steadier for the work that is to be done, that I move more firmly into the task, knowing that you – millions and millions of you – are joined with me in the resolve to make this work endure.

The work, my friends, is peace. More than an end of the war – an end to the beginnings of all wars. Yes, an end, forever, to this impractical, unrealistic settlement of the differences between governments by the mass killing of people.

Even as I speak these words, I can hear, in my mind’s ear, an old, old chorus. You have heard it, too. You will hear more of it as we go forward with the work at hand.

It is the chorus of the defeatists, the cynics, the perfectionists – all the world’s sad aggregation of timid souls who tell us, for one reason or another, it can’t be done.

They have been afraid to come along with us as we approached this task of destiny. And they will shrink, they will pull back and try to pull us back with them, as we get further into it.

Oh yes, they will agree, war is horrible. War is hell.

And yet, in the pale anemic minds, there is a kind of worship of this same horror of war. They tell us there can be no end to it. They endow it with immortality. They certify it to us as the ultimate fate of mankind on earth.

Now, you and I don’t stand in such awe and adoration. We don’t think war deserves it.

You and I are not willing to concede that we were put here on earth for no better purpose. And from here on, the wars that would come if we let them would leave precious few of us to argue to the contrary!

You and I call war stupidity – not plain stupidity, but enormous, brutal stupidity, a crime that makes no more sense to its perpetrator than it does to its victims.

Well, today that cult of the faint-hearted, the credo of those cringing adorers of a criminal precedent, is on its way out. And in a span of time as far back as history goes, there is something new under the sun.

To me there is not greater hope for humanity, there is no better sign in the world of our time, than the fact that this abject worship of war has become – for the first time – a minority belief. We have struck boldly forward in the inner world of our thinking, in the world that we project for our kind, and we have discovered that the world is not flat.

True, if there are new corporals who will want to become rulers of the earth, we can not legislate wild fancies out of their minds. If there are other impractical dreamers who must indulge themselves in their private nightmares – the pipe dream that war is inevitable – we cannot pass laws abridging the freedom to dream.

But we can and we will stop these murderous hallucinations from reaching us. We can and we will keep them confined to the dream-world of would-be conquerors and of the defeatists who are their accessories before the fact. We can stop them from wrecking the lives of sane, sound, peace-loving, practical humanity. This we can do. And this we will do.

I say “we,” for I know that I am only one in many millions who share this belief and are so resolved. We have had it proved abundantly to us in America that our people, whether Democrats or Republicans, want to strike boldly against the threat of war. They have demanded a sane, practical end to it. And they have their feet on the ground.

To this I can add – for I have seen it just as abundantly in my recent travels – that the other peoples of the world will be with us every step of the way. The thin-blooded timid souls who are now in a minority in our country are also a minority in the world.

I remember saying, once upon a time in the long, long ago when I was a freshman in college that all men had to fear was fear itself. We were in fear and economic collapse. We have struck back boldly against that fear. And we overcame it.

Today, as we move against terrible scourge, and as we go forward towards the greatest contribution that any generation of human beings can make in this world – the contribution of lasting peace, I ask you to keep your faith.

I measure the sound, solid achievements that can be made at this time by the straight-edge of your own confidence and your resolve. And to you, and to all Americans who dedicate themselves with us to the making of an abiding peace, I say:

The only limit of our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today. Let us move forward with strong and active faith.

Remix: Supporting the Troops

Last Saturday we spent some time with two couples, the husbands of which were deployed with Jon in 05-06. We had an incredibly fascinating conversation (gotta love those 2am solving-the-world's-problems discussions! :-) precipitated by a question posed from Jon.

First, let me give some background- Shawn has been in the Army in one fashion or another for 16 years. Active Duty Enlisted, then later as a National Guard Officer. They have a 12-year-old, an 8-year-old, and a 1-year-old.

Andrew (aka "Mac") has been in for... uh... a little help here, Lori? I don't know. I think longer than I have been alive! He was born in Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe) and has led a fascinating life. He also spent time Active Duty and National Guard, Enlisted and Officer. He has deployed with the Army 3 times (I think?) and last year went back to Iraq with Blackwater working security.

I tell you that just to say- this group is as "Armified" as any. Experiences are broad and varied.

So when the question was posed: "What does supporting the troops mean?" - the answers were equally as broad and varied.

I think that's what was most interesting to me. For each of the three Soldiers and each of the three spouses, it meant something different. It meant different things to each of us both on the giving and receiving end.

What we agreed on was that it is different for everybody, and that basically, if a person FEELS like they're supporting the troops, they are. Or, if a Soldier (or any other person in uniform) FEELS supported, then someone is doing the supporting. We agreed that it is an attitude above all, but that actions must follow.

Lori made a great point that love languages play into it- which is why how Mac feels "supported" and how Shawn does and how Jon does is different.

Some thought that the yellow stickers on cars were a great sign, others thought it was a futile showing. Some thought packages and letters were great, others wanted to be left alone. The guys (and spouses) appreciate being thanked by people, though most admitted that was more because they know it really meant something to the person saying it than that they wanted to be recognized. The idea was also thrown out that getting involved in the political process- even just understanding the war- is the best way to support our troops.

I think it's easy to find ways living in a place like Savannah, Georgia, where every other person you see is military. But what about someone living in Cedar Springs, Michigan, who possibly NEVER sees or is exposed to the military?

I have a lot of other thoughts on this. Our conversation the other night was well over an hour long...

But, before I rant too much, I'm going to ask again, whether you're a member of the military, a spouse, or a civilian- What does "Supporting the Troops" look like to you? You can read people's comments the last time I posed this question here.

Just curious.

thinking through it...

So, it's been a while since I posted.

The last week has been... well... up and down...

A couple things have happened that I'll write about in separate posts.

Jon & I have been reading a book together while he's deployed. It helps us have something to talk about other than just "catching up." When this book was published, I only heard bad things about it; it's funny- now that I'm actually reading it for myself, I realize how much it had been misconstrued. Weird how that happens. I have to wonder how many people I heard criticize it- or criticize the author himself- ever took the time to read it. I think they would be amazed, as was I, how much they actually agree with. I keep finding phrases and ideas that I remember being quite controversial... and, when taken out of context, they sound heretical- but, when you look at the whole, it actually makes a lot of sense. Oddly, the author exhorts readers to approach Scripture the same way- in its entirety.

It has really stretched me. Though, I will admit, it's hard- it's hard for someone like me to admit that maybe, just maybe, I don't have all the answers... or that someone else's answers might, just might, be true.

I have realized, more than anything, that spirituality is a journey. It's a process. It's not like learning addition, where mastery is possible, let alone simple. Where is my journey leading? Not sure yet. I do know that I have the Bible, and Spirit-led wisdom. I also know that there are a lot of people with that same Bible and that same Spirit-led wisdom who are in an entirely different place than me. And that's ok.

A little perspective...

Millions of American Christians pray in their churches each week, oblivious to the fact that Christians in many parts of the world suffer brutal torture, arrest, imprisonment and even death—their homes and communities laid waste—for no other reason than that they are Christians. The shocking, untold story of our time is that more Christians have died this century simply for being Christians than in the first nineteen centuries after the birth of Christ. They have been persecuted and martyred before an unknowing, indifferent world and a largely silent Christian community.

---Nina Shea, Freedom House (human rights organization), International human rights lawyer (worship.com)

Our PWOC Program was this week (it went well!), and I did speak for just a few minutes on the persecuted church. I'm not sure how many women were affected by it, but even if just one commits to praying for our brothers and sisters in these countries, good was done.

I found this at the website of the Voice of the Martyrs. (I just realized you have to create a free account with them to view this page- but it is worth it!) All the colored countries are those in which Christians fact persecution of some kind. Isn't that amazing!?? So often we take for granted the freedoms we have here in the U.S. Just as the author of Hebrews encouraged in Hebrews 13:3, so we need to be in prayer today.

Bible League also has a REALLY cool program that I found- you can "recycle" your Bible! I don't know about you, but we have several copies of Bibles on our shelves that we haven't cracked in years- if you send it to Bible League, they will actually place it in an English-speaking home overseas!

I would really encourage you to check out these links I have provided, read some stories, and learn more about what is going on in the world- things that somehow are never reported unless an American happens to be involved...

By the way, if you're wondering- yes, I did in fact make a potpourri sachet... wasn't so bad after all...

Scars

Grief.

That word is so heavy- it carries with it such a somber connotation. As soon as you read it, it probably elicited some inexplicable emotion... for most, it is probably associated with the loss of a loved one. Without trivializing that at all, I'd like to address a different form...

Megan's blog about scars last week prompted me to reflect again on a period Jon and I went through when he was getting ready to come back from Iraq over two years ago. As you know, we barely knew each other when we married and he deployed- it was a bit of a whirlwind relationship. As we were discussing what it would be like to actually live together, we realized that there were things about our pasts that we had not fully "gotten over"...

About that time, I was reading (well... ok... more like skimming to get to the parts that interested me...) a book called Fighting for your Marriage- it is, oddly enough, a part of the Army marriage curriculum. In it there was a chapter on the grief process. The authors maintain that one can- and should- grieve over what is lost by gaining a marriage. That may seem like an oxymoron at first glance... Marriage is great! I would trade it any day over being single! (I hope you can say that anyway... ;-) But really, think about it. Aren't there things about being single you miss? Freedom? Opportunities? Being able to eat Taco Bell whenever you wanted (ok, maybe that was just me...) Maybe it was relationships that you had to release- or relationships that took a different priority. In some ways, spending the first year apart from my husband made that easier- I could ease into "married life" a bit... but at the same time, not having any mutual friends or connections made this incredibly difficult. We had different lives, different histories, different priorities, different friends. I am so thankful that we were able to accept those things in ourselves- and each other. Those were hard, dark days, to be sure. It is one thing to go through it yourself- but to give your spouse room to do the same is difficult.

There were things lain on the altar of our marriage, things that we never cried over. And I'll be honest- I think we would both agree that there were some things we didn't quite want to let go of. Having sorrow for what is lost is not wrong- hanging onto it is. As Megan pointed out, the only way for a wound to heal is to care for it- if ignored, it will only breed infection.

Through the last couple of years, we have both realized that what we lost pales in comparison to what we gained.

We have also built such a trust that enables each of us to have greater freedoms- to regain some things that were lost- but with a different priority.

I think that this could be applied to a lot of areas. Jon and I were talking about this grief process the other day at lunch, and how much giving each other space to feel sad about things lost really allowed us to get beyond some barriers in our relationship. We discussed how we are going through the same thing with Sophia- I love her inexplicably- and yet, I grieve for the loss of freedom to go where I want when I want. I grieve that I have to share Jon with someone else. Heck, I grieve a solid night's sleep!

In Megan's discussion of scars, she pointed out that we should not aim to erase the past from our memories; instead, we should allow them to shape our lives for the glory of God. Hers was in the context of scars from experiences that were out of our control- I submit that the same could be said about the scars that result from our own (even good) decisions- just because what I chose is good, that doesn't mean that what I didn't choose was all bad...

The scars that we carry can come in so many different forms... some wounds are deep, some are surface, but all need to heal... and in allowing that, we can appreciate what is so much more than what was...

Airport Spirituality

Home again, home again. I was dreading my return trip, but fortunately, it was not nearly the struggle as last week. My sister got up to take me to the airport at 4:30am, and I was safely in Savannah a mere 5 hours later!

Spending that much time in airports last week (close to 24 hours over 2 days) gave me a lot of time to think. On Monday, after not getting on 2 flights, I was getting nervous. I threw up a couple quick "God, help me on this plane!" prayers, though I actually felt a bit guilty, because I don't necessarily believe that God is in the business of making someone else miss his flight so I can get his seat (weird, I know...). I'll admit, they were half-hearted prayers.

I didn't get on the flight.

Next flight, two hours later. I was sitting at the gate, thinking. At this point, I had held it all together pretty well... but after not getting on 2 flights the day before, sleeping only four hours, and arriving at the airport at 7am only to not get on another 3 flights, by 4:30 I was starting to lose it. I felt myself falling apart inside. How much longer could I sit there?

Then, my old instincts started to kick in...

Maybe God is teaching me a lesson. Maybe he wants me to pray more sincerely, or... talk to someone... or... learn patience... or... something...

So I prayed. God, pleeeaaase let me on this flight. I was humble. I was sincere.

And I didn't get on the flight.

So what then?

Well, then I removed myself from my subjective desperation, making the shift from the overly emotional back to the cognitive, and reminded myself of what I actually believe...

That God is intimately involved in our lives on a daily basis, but that that involvement has more to do with guiding us in how we react in situations than it does getting him to "pull strings" for us- get me on this flight! help my headache to go away! don't let me run out of gas! (I saw somewhere online today that Calvinists shouldn't use the phrase "car accident" because it's contrary to their theological belief.)

Sure, God intervenes. Sometimes. When? That's for him to know, and us not to. What I do know is that I'm not going to attribute things to him that may not necessarily be his work.

I know, I know... I'm treading tricky water here. This raises a debate on the sovereignty of God that I have discussed with many people, from varying sides of the issue...

I believe God is sovereign, in absolute power. Omnipresent, omniscient, and omnipotent. No qualms there. And yes, I know ALL the passages that point to his intervention (back in my Moody days, I could argue the point of absolute sovereignty with the best of 'em...). I believe those to be true. I believe the man in John really was born blind so that God's glory may be revealed. Why do I believe that? Jesus said so.

But does that mean that EVERY person who has EVER been born blind has been so for God's glory? I think they can glorify him in their reactions and attitudes- but in John, Jesus was talking about his ability and decision to supernaturally heal in that unique situation.

I digress- back to the airport...

It made me wonder... if I start behaving in a certain way after a minor pseudo-crisis, a mere inconvenience, what would I do when tragedy really does strike? How does that apply on a universal scale- what changes when hard times come?

I suppose that, on a personal level, Jon's deployment- and the peripheral marital stress it caused- was probably the "hardest" thing that has happened to me. And I have to say, it was at that time, the times of the most wondering and questioning, that I came to rest more than ever in the fact that God does not cause pain. Sin causes pain. Even more often, the indirect result of living in a fallen world causes pain. Why do we feel a "lesson" must be gleaned through every difficult event? I have known people who adamantly believe that God causes every thing to happen and we should never question him... and yet, the only way they get through hard times is by convincing themselves of some divine fortune cookie wisdom. Again, I need to caveat- God does indeed discipline his children; he certainly can and does interact with circumstances to teach us lessons. Sometimes. Again, I can't say when.

Why did I sit at the airport for two days last week? Because I made the decision to fly standby, and the flights were overbooked.

Or... maybe, the guy who had a ticket and made it on last minute just prayed harder than I did...

Supporting Our Troops

NPR had an interesting story this morning regarding public opinion of our troops. It's very brief and an interesting listen. They surveyed random people at an airport, asking them what "supporting the troops" means, even if they are not in favor of the war. The responses are varied, though no one says that they don't support them.

To be honest, I'm not really sure what my answer to that question would be. I mean, you could always go to websites like anysoldier.com or adopt-a-chaplain.org if you don't personally know any troops, but want to mail them your appreciation in the form of letters or packages (this is actually a great thing to do, if you're looking!) There are also tons of organizations you could donate to that help military families, families of the fallen, troops who have gotten injured, those who are currently deployed, those who have returned... the list goes on and on...

But, short of that, the question still remains: What does it mean to "support the troops"?

I pose that question, because I'm a very literal person. I don't like vague statements that don't really mean anything, so I just wonder what everyone means by that. So what about you? Regardless of your feelings on the war, do you feel like you "support the troops"? What does that mean to you?

A question of ethics

Jon and I heard something quite interesting on NPR yesterday during "All Things Considered."

A lady called in with an ethics question. Here is the story: The high school in her community had all their students sign a pledge that said they would neither drink alcohol nor be around alcohol at parties, etc. However, these same students posted pictures of themselves at parties with alcohol on their myspace pages. The school administration found them and disciplined the students.

The question: Is this ethical?

Should school administration be allowed to discipline students based on what is posted on myspace?

Though I can see both sides of the issue, the two important things in the case in my opinion are that:

1) the students ALL signed the commitment form, giving the school the authority to control this (the argument could have been made that it is not the school's right to monitor off-campus behavior, if it were not for this). Regardless of how you feel about the school demanding that kind of behavior, the fact is that they signed.

2) the pictures were posted ONLINE. The lady on the internet used the argument that even though the internet is public, "the students don't view it that way- they view it like a locked diary." Why does what teenagers THINK matter? (I have also heard students say that they thought that in writing a paper, if they changed one word in a sentence of a book they read, it wasn't plagiarism. Regardless of what they think, that IS plagiarism, and it is wrong.) If they think that what they post online isn't visible by everyone and their pedophiliac brother, they need to be educated in it- not excused for it. (As a sidenote, myspace allows you to set your page as "private" so it can ONLY be viewed by the people you allow. Most teens look at it as a "way to meet new friends," so they don't use this feature.)

Also, take a look at the recent VT shootings- the school is being blamed for NOT monitoring what he posted online! If a high school student posted on his myspace that he was going to kill students (even off campus), would the administration have a right to take charge then? If so, what makes that any different from other harmful vices?

And if the students are posting/ commenting on myspace on school computers (which, as a former teacher, I can guarantee you happens frequently), does that make a difference?

What do you think? Is this an infringement of privacy, or did the school have grounds to suspend these students?

A further explanation...

Due to an unexpected amount of interest in the subject, allow me to quote from the earlier-mentioned book: The Surprising Power of Family Meals: How eating together makes us smarter, stronger, healthier, and happier by Miriam Weinstein. If you have been participating in this conversation, I think it explains my view. If not, still read it! It is all about how knowing your family heritage can help a child succeed. I have added the boldness for emphasis. The Duke that is talked about is Marshall Duke, a clinical psychologist at Emory University.

"In recent years, psychologists have been paying increased attention to what might be called the bad things happen model of life. Instead of concentrating only on pathology, they are looking to understand its opposite -- how some people suffer tragedy and trauma, and yet go on to do quite well. Their goal is to build this resilience into children. Or as Duke puts it, 'to deal with what's in this life.'

Based on his clinical work, Duke had a sense that kids who knew more about their family background tended to be more resilient. This notion that we get strength from our family ties, from our antecedents, flies in the face of our peculiarly American celebration of self-invention. It is also out of step with the way that we Americans structure our families. Because we count the family as the nuclear, child-rearing unit, we create families whose goal is to self-destruct. We define successful off-springs as those who move out and away. Extended families almost never share homes or businesses, and the leisure time we spend together is often quite limited and formal.

Duke wanted to study whether a child's rootedness in his family contributed to his stability and resilience. So, along with colleagues at Marial, the Emory-based multidisciplinary organization that studies middle-class working families, he looked into how children learned about family lore... at the dinner table.

Beginning in 2001, Duke and his colleagues arranged for the members of forty-two families, each of whom had a child between nine and thirteen years old, to remember and discuss a negative and a positive past event, which were recorded. The families also recorded two dinnertime conversations. In addition, the parents were asked to tell stories about their families. But when they did, all was not sweetness and light. Duke says, 'They told horrible stories about bankruptcies, losing jobs, having to move, accidents; one family talked about a murder.'

But Duke pulls back to consider the context. 'You have to look at where they're telling about it. They're in the safety of their own home. The message is: Terrible things have happened, but we're okay, the family survives. We're thinking it gives the kids grounding, a sense of place, a sense of context.' And he goes on: 'Kids find heroes in their own family.'...

When the group wrote a working paper about their research, they called it Of Ketchup and Kin: Dinnertime Conversations as a Major Source of Family Knowledge, Family Adjustment, and Family Resilience.

The authors, whom I'll call the Ketchup Group, measured the kids in the study according to several standardized psychological tests. They found that the more kids knew about their families, the better they measured up. So those ridiculous stories, as well as the more serious ones, might actually have some value. As the Ketchup Group wrote, 'These give-and-take interactions go beyond influencing memories for the events; they encourage perspective-taking, critical thinking, theory-building, and relationship roles within the family... We propose that family narratives contribute to the current well-being an psychological immunity of its individual members.'

That is, we are our stories. Hearing the family tales again and again over time anchors our sense of who we are, and gives us a feeling of belonging and hope."

Well said.

Ye'll tak' the high road, and I'll tak' the low road... and I'll be in Scotland afore ye...

Today I breathed a sigh of relief.

Because we have been out of town all week, I had to take the final exam for both of my classes this morning... suffice it to say that last night wasn't happy. But, I think I did pretty well. I am quite confident, actually. I finished the first in 25 minutes and the second in an hour and 15. Could I have done better? Of course. Do I really care? Not really.

One of the essay questions I had to answer is why knowing a nation's history is important to its citizens. I am absolutely fascinated with this subject. My brother posed the same question to me earlier this week in another context. Why should we be proud of our Scotch-Irish heritage? he asked.

I am very proud to be Scotch-Irish- and I intend to find out more about them... just think- it may have been my ancestors that were monks who preserved the written word during the Dark Ages! It may have been them who sat under St. Patrick (my mom's maiden name is actually McCool) and spread Christianity on the island. The Lennoxes (Jon's mom's maiden name) were descendants of the Stuart Kings- the castle they owned (this picture was taken by Jon's brother Ben) is still there today- near Loch Lomond in Scotland. I find this fascinating!

I read a book last year called The Surprising Power of Family Meals: How eating together makes us stronger, smarter, healthier, and happier. In it, the author related a conversation she had had with a colleague who was a college professor. He had done a study on his students and found that those who knew thier family's heritage- recent and ancient- seemed to have more success in school and beyond.

The book asserted, and I agree, that knowing what "your people" have been through- whether it is the trials of the ancient celts, the journey from the isles to America, or the stories of my grandparents in the Great Depression, this connection to the past empowers people to have the strength to succeed.

Keep in mind this is not always a cognitive decision. When faced with a hard time, I don't think, "Wait a minute! I have ancestors who survived the Potato Famine- I can get through this!" No. I don't.

I do think, though, that the subconscious knowledge of what your family- or nation- has been through can positively affect an individual.

Jon and I have begun compiling information we know so that, someday, we can pass it on to our kids- the book suggests that the dinner table is a great means for that.

What do you think? Do you feel a connection to your past? Is passing family history on to your children important to you?

And an even more pressing question: Do you want to buy a used Western Civilization book?

amazing grace?

we saw it tonight. today was the opening day of the amazing grace movie. my parents went to see it earlier in the day and had given it good reviews, so i was quite excited. i won't comment on the movie for now except to say that you should go see it! Christian cliches were kept to a small minimum... and after googling them when i came home, i realized that john newton (who spoke them in the movie) actually originally penned them!

that is all i shall say on the movie... for now...

no, coming home at close to one in the morning, there is something else pressing on my mind: the woman who sat next to me at the theater. she was the epitomy of what you don't want the person sitting next to you to be! She talked through the entire thing... it seemed like every thought she had she vocalized. any moderately emotional part, she responded with "mmm... how cool..." or "that is so cute" or "good for him!" or "that's just great"- it drove me crazy. i digress.

the point is that, between the previews and the movie, a coke commercial celebrating black history was shown. this woman, the SAME one who sang the praises of william wilberforce and the abolitionist movement, she said during this commercial, and i quote, "blah blah blah."

BLAH BLAH BLAH?? you're at a movie celebrating abolition of slavery and you "blah blah blah" the black history commercial?

so what... we should abolish slavery but supress the race after that? we should avoid any contribution they have made? it's a 30 second coke commercial... you are bored with history after 30 seconds? you glorify the "amazing grace" of God (and rightly so), yet you are unwilling to extend his grace in your own life by recognizing what a particular race has accomplished?

blech.

if there was anything i could have changed about the movie, it would have been that woman.

long, but worth it...

in honor of black history month, i thought we should take a moment to think of the slavery that still is happening worldwide.

there is a movie coming to theaters next friday called "amazing grace." it is a story of true events that led to abolition of slavery in england. i have been excited to see it ever since i first saw the trailer a month ago... i would encourage you to check out the amazing change campaign - it is a website dedicated to helping slaves- both literal and economical- worldwide. look around there to see some of the things that are happening globally.

yesterday at pwoc (the army wives' bible study i have been attending), there was a special speaker who worked in vietnam and northern thailand for several years as a missionary. one people group he talked about especially stuck out to me- the shan living between myanmar (burma) and thailand. this people group (300,000 in number) were forced from their villages in burma and told that they would be killed if they returned. however, thailand won't allow most of them into their country, either- most of them are literally living in the jungles between the guarded gates of both countries. children are often either abandoned or sold into slavery or prostitution (which are really synonomous...)

have you heard of the dalit? they are a people group whose name literally means "untouchables"- 250 million people who have been told by the upper castes of india that they are less than human. if even a dalit’s shadow falls on an upper caste person, that person is polluted according to caste rules. (that description comes from this website.)

if you want more information that any of these sites have, just do a google search- you will be amazed what you come up with.

if you are like me, you will look at this information and say, "so what? what in the world can i do about it? nothing." you know, in some ways i agree. i don't believe that signing a petition will honestly end slavery- it is a much deeper issue than american popular opinion. however, i do believe that we do the body of Christ good to be informed on these issues, to at least KNOW what is happening. to pray over these people groups. to do what we can to help the truly needy in our world.

keep in mind, too, that these people also have little to no Christian witness- some are persecuted horribly. we have brothers and sisters who are suffering in chains even today.

and honestly, i think that many churches and Christians- not wanting to be named among the social gospel movement- have gone too far in neglecting the physical needs of those around us. yes, you will get taken advantage of. yes, you may feel like it's just a drop in the bucket. is that what you would tell Christ? you didn't contribute to the food pantry because people take advantage of it? that you didn't give to a charity because you think it's probably some grand conspiracy to take your money?

maybe so. i know that i would rather err on the side of showing love. isn't that what Christianity is all about? helping the poor, the widows, the orphans... showing love to those who would never see it otherwise...

here are some practical suggestions if you'd like to get involved. this is just the tip of the iceburg. if you can't give, then pray. pray for these people to know Christ, and pray also that they would be free from the physical torment in which they are currently living.

World Vision
Samaritan's Purse (they have a cool catalog at christmas that you can actually buy "gifts" for someone in a third-world country- gifts like chickens, bibles, school supplies, a well, farming equipment, etc)
Amnesty International
Peace Gospel
Compassion International


if you know of other groups that focus on enslaved, displaced, or impoverished people groups, feel free to list it in the comments section.

the butterfly effect

for as long as i can remember, i have always been intruiged by other cultures. even in elementary school, i would ask for books about people in the world for christmas. i have been to guyana, south america; and hungary, europe. i find it absolutely amazing. to think that there are people living a completely different lifestyle than me, different stories that found their cultures, different principles and governments- it reminds me that i am just a part of something much bigger. we get so wrapped up in what is going on in our own little world that we- well, at least i- tend to forget that it isn't all about me, that others have dreams, goals, and fears that are just as important to them as mine are to me. to think that what is happening on the other side of the world could one day dramatically affect my life. to think that America isn't God's chosen nation, that he loves his children across space and across time.

there are a couple things going on that bring this even more to the front of my mind. one of them, of course, is having a husband in iraq. that culture, the issues of that country, have affected my life. and josh and amy (jon's brother and sister-in-law) are in the process of adopting a little girl from china right now ("paper pregnant," if you will). When they go to pick her up in about a year, she will probably be between 8 and 15 months old. that means that at any time, any day- possibly even as i type this- emma mei lennox fisher is being born, though no one knows her as that quite yet. our family will never be the same. emma will bring a fantastic diversity to the fisher family, serving as a constant reminder that life is bigger than us.

the butterfly effect, in short, is a theory that one butterfly flapping its wings on the other side of the world carries global effects. isn't that amazing to think about? that there could be things happening right now thousands and thousands of miles away that will change your life? i can only imagine...