Saturday morning!!

If you frequent our family site, you have probably noticed that it has been a few weeks since it was updated... long story short, in the process of me getting Jon's old computer and him getting a new one, mine (his old one) lost the ability to publish to that website. It actually lost the ability to run iPhoto and do anything else at the same time. (I know- I too thought that Macs intuitively knew everything you wanted to do and made it happen...) Anyway- we got the problem solved, but now I will have to completely rebuild that site... I'll let you know when that happens, but don't hold your breath...

In the meantime, here are a few more pictures to give you your Sophie fix! (doesn't EVERYONE need one???)

Crayon Box

An assortment of non-consequential thoughts of varied colors...



First and foremost, Sophie started smiling!!!





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I've gotten to video call with Jon three times and talk with him on the phone once since he left. Everyone join in... "Yes, I love technology, but not as much as you, you see... But I STILL love technology... Always and forever. Our love is like a flock of doves, flying up to heaven above... always and forever, always and forever..."

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Here is our Super Bowl feast... neither of us enjoying the sport, the Super Bowl is pretty much an excuse to eat party food! We had chips & cheese with guacamole & salsa, crackers with spinach/artichoke dip, wings (Jon grilled them), and root beer floats. All for the two of us. Suffice it to say we didn't feel great the next day...

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Jon's sister Emily had a baby 6 weeks after I had Sophie, but since Alice was bigger when she was born, they're about the same size. When I'm up this summer we're going to get matching outfits for the girls for a photo shoot... gotta love cousins! :-)

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I had a bad experience with a USPS employee on the phone yesterday while ordering my military kit. Two days after my husband deploys is NOT a great time to lecture me about how important my USPS customer ID# is and make me feel like an idiot for not keeping track of it since I last used it 3 years ago... (btw- why in the world can you not order these online???)

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Last week Jon & I went shooting. Ok, so I'm no marksman, but I was pretty impressed with myself. Jon was just impressed that I didn't cry this time.

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Jon was awarded the Bronze Star a few weeks ago! Long story short, he was supposed to have gotten it at the end of his first tour, but the paperwork for it (in typical Army fashion...) was lost. It finally came through! He got it for a period of about 10 days when his unit suffered 11 KIAs. That's really when he proved himself to his soldiers- he went way above and beyond what would be expected of a chaplain, including helping with the recovery effort. He also was awarded the Meritorious Serviceman's Medal as well as an Army Commendation Medal.

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Are Oreos made with more cream filling nowadays? I bought some Springtime Oreos and was disappointed with the cream-to-cookie ratio... some of us like the cookie the best!!

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He's gone.

Jon left for Iraq yesterday.

Last time, there was a big farewell ceremony, with the whole brigade (several thousand soldiers) in formation on the parade field.

Yesterday, there were less than 10. We all met at a small parking lot, they lined up all their gear, and we sat... for three hours...

Jon & I were actually able to stay in good spirits and had a rather enjoyable morning. Then, a bus pulled up. He walked me to the car, and we said goodbye.

Honestly, I felt relieved. I had been dreading that moment since we found out 6 weeks ago that he would be deploying. Of course, I went home and saw Sophie (she stayed with a friend), and I instantly had an incredibly empty feeling... Jon is such a great dad, and I have so much enjoyed having him home with Soph and me...

My sister-in-law, Amy, is in Jacksonville for a Young Survivor's Coalition conference this weekend, so Sophie and I came down to hang out with her. It really put some things in perspective for me last night, as we walked through the conference area. There are several hundred women here, all survivors of breast cancer- and under 40 years old. It reminded me that, while this season in my life is a struggle, I have so much to be grateful for. Our decision to go into the Army was just that- OUR decision. It has its pitfalls- but it was our choice. These women didn't have that luxury. They are having to deal with the life that was given them, to look for the good in the midst of the bad...

So, we're doing alright. These next few months will be hard, but focusing on the good and taking life day by day make is the only way to live- for anyone...

We'll both be journaling this season through our blogs- be sure to check back (sort of) often! :-)

A little perspective...

Millions of American Christians pray in their churches each week, oblivious to the fact that Christians in many parts of the world suffer brutal torture, arrest, imprisonment and even death—their homes and communities laid waste—for no other reason than that they are Christians. The shocking, untold story of our time is that more Christians have died this century simply for being Christians than in the first nineteen centuries after the birth of Christ. They have been persecuted and martyred before an unknowing, indifferent world and a largely silent Christian community.

---Nina Shea, Freedom House (human rights organization), International human rights lawyer (worship.com)

Our PWOC Program was this week (it went well!), and I did speak for just a few minutes on the persecuted church. I'm not sure how many women were affected by it, but even if just one commits to praying for our brothers and sisters in these countries, good was done.

I found this at the website of the Voice of the Martyrs. (I just realized you have to create a free account with them to view this page- but it is worth it!) All the colored countries are those in which Christians fact persecution of some kind. Isn't that amazing!?? So often we take for granted the freedoms we have here in the U.S. Just as the author of Hebrews encouraged in Hebrews 13:3, so we need to be in prayer today.

Bible League also has a REALLY cool program that I found- you can "recycle" your Bible! I don't know about you, but we have several copies of Bibles on our shelves that we haven't cracked in years- if you send it to Bible League, they will actually place it in an English-speaking home overseas!

I would really encourage you to check out these links I have provided, read some stories, and learn more about what is going on in the world- things that somehow are never reported unless an American happens to be involved...

By the way, if you're wondering- yes, I did in fact make a potpourri sachet... wasn't so bad after all...

Ya Gotta Laugh...

Jon and I tried out a new church this past Sunday; unfortunately, the pastor wasn't there, so we decided to go back for prayer meeting.

So we show up- the obvious novelty in this 50-person church. There was an impressive 15 people there for the mid-week meeting- all old enough to be our parents; most, our grandparents. Of course, Sophie needed to eat as soon as the meeting began, and as there is no inconspicuous way to nurse in such a setting, I went to an unused nursery. As I came back in and sat down, Jon noticed Sophie's face looking red and determined...

He looked at me quizzically- "Has she had her blowout yet??"

No sooner were the words out of his mouth than- PPPTTTHHHSSSLLLBBB...

Yep, you guessed it. LOUDLY. In the middle of the pastor taking prayer requests.

(Did I mention that- for the FIRST TIME EVER- I had chosen to put a shirt and pants on Sophie- without a onesie?)

Just then, I felt something warm and looked down- yellow goo was oozing out of the back of Soph's diaper- pooling on my lap...

Jon, helpful father he is, reached into the diaper bag to get me a cloth to keep our daughter's... uh... you know... from getting all over the pew. I quickly sopped it up off my jeans...

That's when I realized- I was using her spare outfit.

(Thankfully, her sweatshirt emerged unharmed, so she could still wear that.)

Sometimes, all you can do is laugh...

Happy Birthday!

Saturday was Jon's birthday. We dropped Sophie off at a friend's and had a date day!

It was GORGEOUS- I think it actually hit 80! There is a section of downtown Savannah called City Market- it's a couple blocks of walking district with restaurants and shops. We ate lunch (baked brie and portabella/ gorgonzola pizza... yum!) on a patio while listening to a live band play classic rock- of course, Jon didn't know most of the songs, but I knew them all!

After getting gelato (Italian ice cream), we went and saw There Will Be Blood- it's about the oil discoveries in the West in the early 20th century. It was a fantastic movie! I'll admit, I wasn't looking forward to it- Jon's birthday, he got to choose... but I really enjoyed it. You know it's a good movie when it gives you conversation fodder for the whole hour drive home!

I did have a few surreal moments- we hung out in City Market with Jon's siblings right before he deployed the first time... it seems we've come full circle...

But, this time, we know (well... sort of...) that he'll be home for his birthday next year! (gotta look at the bright side, right? ;-)

The Stuff of Parenthood

I had an interesting feeling the other day in the waiting room at the hospital.

I was thumbing through a magazine for grandparents- it was actually pretty cool. Its secondary premise was informing new grandparents of all the things that they were told to do back when they were new parents, that now are the mark of a horrible parent. Now, you see, if you put your baby on their stomach to sleep you are probably handing them over to SIDS. Nursing is once again the preferable way to go, according to literature anyway; don't even think about giving your infant water in a bottle; you should feed your baby every time she wants it- banish the thought of a schedule!

It also offered suggestions on how to be a good grandparent.

Which leads me to its primary premise- getting you to buy stuff.

(Did I forget to mention this "magazine" was published by Fisher Price???)

Of course, I was wise to their little scheme. Their blatant and unabashed marketing won't work on me, I thought.

Until I started seeing the pictures of the happy little babies.

And the smart little babies.

You see, they realize that plain old toys don't sell to new moms.

Nope, today's mom has way too much pressure for her child to succeed in every area of life.

Today's mom buys developmental toys.

If you don't have a mobile with bright, contrasting colors, your child won't ever be able to focus- you're dooming him to a lifetime of glasses!!

If your precious little one doesn't have a play gym with things to grab at, he will be behind all his classmates in motor skills!!

If you don't have a hanging crib toy with mirrors and things to look at, he will never be happy enough to go to sleep (didn't you know? stuffed animals in the crib are another death sentence...)- and without the mirrors, he will not know that he controls his environment until way too late!

Then there's the safety aspect- no ordinary infant bathtub will suffice- only the Fisher Price Rainforest one- equipped with the latest in safety equipment- and a padded armrest for Mom!

It worked on me.

For about 10 seconds.

Then I realized that our stuff is ok. Yep, most of it is either from garage sales or given to us- and it's all in great condition. I'm not saying developmental toys are bad or wrong- Sophie has some and will have more. I just maintain that the same end result can be attained through other means. It amazed me how I felt like I needed to have all that stuff to be a good parent. That I was doing my child a disservice by not depending on toys for her development. That the only way to ensure her success would be to follow all the latest research (which, I'm sure, in another two or three decades when I'm a new grandparent will all be wrong again anyway...). It doesn't matter if the mobile on Sophie's swing is of tan teddy bears and not bright red and blue shapes- she'll learn to focus. We read to her. We interact with her. We smile at her and hug her and kiss her. We show her pictures. We expose her to different textures and music. We give her "tummy time"- which she happens to love.

When people would talk about the responsibility of being a parent, I never quite "got it." Now I do. I feel like every decision I make will impact the rest of her life. But you know what? It will all be ok. She'll be a good kid. I'm sure I'll make mistakes- and I'm sure her younger siblings will have a slightly different experience than our little guinea pig.

I do know that I don't want to raise her to be materialistic and always need all the latest and coolest.

I also know that no toy can replace me and the time I spend with her.

That said, I thought I'd share this picture. Without developmental toys, we thought we'd better get a head up on teaching her to read now... (said tongue in cheek, if you didn't catch that...)

Scars

Grief.

That word is so heavy- it carries with it such a somber connotation. As soon as you read it, it probably elicited some inexplicable emotion... for most, it is probably associated with the loss of a loved one. Without trivializing that at all, I'd like to address a different form...

Megan's blog about scars last week prompted me to reflect again on a period Jon and I went through when he was getting ready to come back from Iraq over two years ago. As you know, we barely knew each other when we married and he deployed- it was a bit of a whirlwind relationship. As we were discussing what it would be like to actually live together, we realized that there were things about our pasts that we had not fully "gotten over"...

About that time, I was reading (well... ok... more like skimming to get to the parts that interested me...) a book called Fighting for your Marriage- it is, oddly enough, a part of the Army marriage curriculum. In it there was a chapter on the grief process. The authors maintain that one can- and should- grieve over what is lost by gaining a marriage. That may seem like an oxymoron at first glance... Marriage is great! I would trade it any day over being single! (I hope you can say that anyway... ;-) But really, think about it. Aren't there things about being single you miss? Freedom? Opportunities? Being able to eat Taco Bell whenever you wanted (ok, maybe that was just me...) Maybe it was relationships that you had to release- or relationships that took a different priority. In some ways, spending the first year apart from my husband made that easier- I could ease into "married life" a bit... but at the same time, not having any mutual friends or connections made this incredibly difficult. We had different lives, different histories, different priorities, different friends. I am so thankful that we were able to accept those things in ourselves- and each other. Those were hard, dark days, to be sure. It is one thing to go through it yourself- but to give your spouse room to do the same is difficult.

There were things lain on the altar of our marriage, things that we never cried over. And I'll be honest- I think we would both agree that there were some things we didn't quite want to let go of. Having sorrow for what is lost is not wrong- hanging onto it is. As Megan pointed out, the only way for a wound to heal is to care for it- if ignored, it will only breed infection.

Through the last couple of years, we have both realized that what we lost pales in comparison to what we gained.

We have also built such a trust that enables each of us to have greater freedoms- to regain some things that were lost- but with a different priority.

I think that this could be applied to a lot of areas. Jon and I were talking about this grief process the other day at lunch, and how much giving each other space to feel sad about things lost really allowed us to get beyond some barriers in our relationship. We discussed how we are going through the same thing with Sophia- I love her inexplicably- and yet, I grieve for the loss of freedom to go where I want when I want. I grieve that I have to share Jon with someone else. Heck, I grieve a solid night's sleep!

In Megan's discussion of scars, she pointed out that we should not aim to erase the past from our memories; instead, we should allow them to shape our lives for the glory of God. Hers was in the context of scars from experiences that were out of our control- I submit that the same could be said about the scars that result from our own (even good) decisions- just because what I chose is good, that doesn't mean that what I didn't choose was all bad...

The scars that we carry can come in so many different forms... some wounds are deep, some are surface, but all need to heal... and in allowing that, we can appreciate what is so much more than what was...

Monday already??

What a weekend! We made a whirlwind trip up to Atlanta to see friends- it was so much fun!

We started out at Hudon and Carolene's house for lunch. This is a couple that Jon lived with when he lived in Fayetteville the first time, before he met me. They absolutely fell in love with Jon (how could you not?), and I have enjoyed getting to know them over these past few years as well. Since Carolene couldn't get Jon married off to anyone in her own family, she has "adopted" us- though Sophie has 3 grandparents, 6 great-grandparents, and 1 great-great grandmother still with us, there is always room for a set of adopted grandparents as well! Carolene just couldn't bear to put her down all day- and Sophie seemed to enjoy getting loved on!

Then we went to Rocky and Carolyn's- these are good friends of ours from when we lived there. It was so great to reconnect with them! The last time we made plans to get together, Sophie changed them by deciding to enter the outside world that same weekend...

Sunday morning we went to Fayette Bible Church- I realize more and more how little I matter when I have a baby in my arms! It was great to see not only people from the church, but several of the students as well! (though it was weird that a couple jr. high boys who were shorter than me when we left now tower over me, only a year later...)

After that, we went to Jon's old guard unit for his farewell and awards ceremony. I'll let you read Jon's blog about that (hopefully he'll post tonight...) but suffice it to say it was REALLY cool- I'm so proud of him!!

Sophie must have been so tired from the weekend that she only got up ONCE in the middle of the night! I have been working on spacing out her feedings a little more and getting more scheduled- knock on wood, but I think it may be paying off! I fed her at about 8:45pm, she woke up at about 2:45, then not again until almost 7! For being a wee 7lbs, I don't think I could ask for much more...

Anyway, I'm off to unpack and do laundry! Hope y'all have a great day!

As long as I don't have to wear a bonnet...

Ah. Blissful silence.

Jon is sitting in the rocking chair with Sophie snuggled up under a blanket, both of them fast asleep. I could watch them for hours...

I stayed home from PWOC today- for the first time since I started going last January. The house was a mess, I was exhausted, and we're going out of town this weekend- I knew that if I didn't stay home and get a handle on things today, it would be next week before I had another chance! On that note, since I resigned the presidency of PWOC a week before we found out we're staying here, I took the role of Vice President! When Misty stepped into the president position, we were not able to find anyone willing to be VP who fit the PWOC International qualifications... actually, being the VP is more out of my comfort zone than being the president. My main job is programs- we have them every other month or so. It's basically a themed morning instead of our regular Bible study. Think Mother/Daughter banquet. And, if you know me at all, you know such things are, shall we say, not exactly my forte. I can run a meeting and handle minor conflicts all day long- tell me to plan a craft, speaker, and games (oh, and could you decorate the auditorium while you're at it?)- mmm, not so much. I tend to not be so great at anything best described as for "ladies." (Crafts?? Seriously?) I am, after all, my mother's daughter.

So, it's good for me to be stretched like this, to make something enjoyable for others that isn't my favorite. The theme for the next program (which Misty had already chosen) is "Preparing for His Presence"- it's about Esther. I think I'm going to throw in a short "segment" about women in the persecuted church (it actually fits with the story of Esther quite well...). Jon says that if people don't walk away depressed, I'm not happy. That's not true. I'm all about warm fuzzies- just not being smothered to death by them. I have (since becoming a Fisher) learned to quite enjoy warm fuzzies, as a matter of fact. But at the same time, I think we all need to be careful not to be so inwardly-focused that all we care about is feeling good (and making potpourri sachets. What? Did I say that???)

Family Visits Part 1

My sister Andrea came down for a visit a couple weeks ago! It was really great having her here (and not just because she vaccumed and dusted...). Her "baby" is 5 1/2 now, so she loved having a niece to love on! As you can see, Sophie wasn't quite sure what to think...

Back to Iraq...

Wednesday afternoon, Jon and I were enjoying a leisurely lunch in our front room. He often comes home for lunch, but I hadn't expected it that day- what a welcomed surprise!

Then, it came. I don't even know how he told me, what he said- looking back, I remember the words "home for Christmas" and "bad news" mumbled together with something about August... he looked at me with that "I-have-something-to-tell-you-that-you-won't-like" look.

"I'm deploying in March."

"March 09?" I asked- this was a bit earlier than anticipated, but not much.

"March 08..."

(Possibly February. We'll see.)

I stared at him in shock. And not the good kind of shock that I experienced when he told me we were going to Leonard Wood. But you know- I immediately had peace.

I started crying, and he asked me what I was thinking-

"It's only 6 months," I said. "You're leaving in 2008 AND coming home in 2008? I can handle that!"

Believe me, I'm far from happy about this. I have experienced several waves of emotion over the past few days, and I'm sure they will only grow more intense. But really, right now, it's okay. Most of my friends are going through 15-month deployments right now, and Soph will still only be 8 or 9 months old when he gets back. Plus, he will more than likely be in a much safer place this time than last. How could I complain about that?

There is a battalion whose chaplain had to come home for medical reasons, so Jon is replacing him- hence the abbreviated tour. Jon excels at battalion ministry (well, he excels at most things he does, but he misses being in a battalion), and we are both excited about the opportunities this will bring.

People have asked if this is "for real"- the Army has changed its mind regarding Jon so much that y'all are learning not to trust it! :-) In my experience, Uncle Sam will retract good news- rarely bad. So, yep, this is pretty "for real."

Please keep us in your prayers as we prepare for this next leg of our journey...

Happy Due Date!

Yesterday was my due date... I couldn't imagine still being pregnant!! I think these last few weeks would have been spent worrying and contemplating... but no time for that these days!

Sophie celebrated by getting a bath and giving Dad a big hug!

We published more pics at the family site! Be sure to check out the blog there too!

Pics!

We finally updated pictures! I tell ya, we have been taking pictures left and right... and there they sit on the camera... you can go to the Fisher family website (again, please email me for password info) for all of them, but here are just a few to enjoy!

In other news, congrats to Jacki on winning the delivery pool! Jon was actually the closest with December 25, but since he got his prize (a new baby!), I thought I would officially award Jacki, who guessed the 26th. I haven't had a chance to get to the post office yet, Jacki, but it's coming soon!

A Christmas Story

Jon and I were talking about something the other day, and he mentioned looking for answers on the internet. Funny thing- I used to Google every other thought I had, and after several days of dealing with this situation, it hadn't even occurred to me! I used to spend a significant portion of each day online... now I barely check my email!

We had a great Christmas with Sophie! As much as we missed not being able to see family, we really really enjoyed it being just us. Jon led the music at the installation Christmas Eve service Monday night- it was a beautiful service. During the lighting of the candles, Jon and I played special music- he on guitar and vocals, me on the flute. It was going great until they shut off ALL the lights once all the candles were lit- we couldn't see anything! Seeing how we had just chosen the song late that afternoon (and neither of us had ever played it), it was a bit stressful... but we made it just fine.

We came home and enjoyed Christmas Eve packed with all the things I grew up with on Christmas Eve- summer sausage and cheese, A Christmas Carol (HAS to be George C. Scott), and simply spending time together. I even bought a popcorn tin, which the Fishers always had on Christmas Eve. It was lovely!

Christmas morning we made cinnamon rolls (another Nave tradition), read the Christmas story out of Luke 2 (Fisher tradition), opened gifts, and had a relaxing morning! Jon then spent the rest of the day cleaning the house and cooking (I spent the rest of the day doing what I do EVERY day- spend every other hour getting Sophie to eat...), then we had some friends over for dinner. It was the first time we have hosted a holiday, and it went great! I am indebted to Jon for working so much to make Christmas be how I wanted it to be, even having company less than 2 weeks after delivery...

This was my and Jon's 4th Christmas Eve together... 3 years ago at the Christmas Eve service, we met for the 2nd time. Jon says he wooed me with his slick charm... which is... pretty much true. What can I say, I'm a sucker for the romance of the holidays. Little did I know then that in three short years, we would be sitting in our living room holding our child. It was so neat to be able to play together Monday night- we have never really done that before, just the two of us. If you are a musician at all, then you know that working through a piece of music (wait, did I say a piece of music? What I meant to say was a printout of the lyrics with chords... which weren't even the right chords, because Jon capoed... not that chords help a flautist much anyway...) takes a significant amount of communication and patience- the fact that we did this 3 hours before the service (and I didn't even get teary once!) is a testament to how much our relationship has grown over the past few years. In fact, at that very first Christmas Eve service, Jon sang O Holy Night with the Kent City Baptist band (of which I was a part) backing him up. At the rehearsal, I remember thinking that he was kind of a jerk- I think I was too used to working with Josh (Jon's brother and KCBC worship pastor), who is (or has learned to be) quite laid back in working with other musicians. Jon seemed arrogant. Again, little did I know...

In other news, we passed another milestone this week- we paid off our last credit card! Well over half of our debt is gone (excepting the house, of course...), and in the next year and a half or so it should be gone. I have to say, I have been opposed to the envelope/cash system for... well, forever. I don't need that, I thought- I don't spend money flippantly. But I have to tell you, I don't think we could have gotten to this point without it. Suddenly, we know where our money is going, we control it- and at the end of the month when there's some left in the envelope, all the better! It all started back in the beginning of September when Jon decided to sell the truck- and it snowballed from there. You can read more about it at Jon's blog.

I suppose this has gone on long enough... I will try to post more frequently so they don't get this long! :-)

The Things You Do For Love...

What a week! I have a whole new respect for parents, let me tell you! I can't imagine doing this alone- or with another child to take care of! You know, I don't know any of the words to that song except the title- "The Things You Do For Love"... that line has gone through my mind many a time at 3am, or doing one of several other things that I wouldn't otherwise choose to do. But hey, the trade-off is way more than worth it- I have the best baby in the world! :-) (no bias, of course!)

A quick recap...

We took her in for a weight check-up on Tuesday (she had lost 8oz before we took her home, and they were a bit concerned since she started out so small). She weighed a wee 5lbs then! She had lost 10oz- 10% of her birth weight. Her jaundice level had soared- badly enough to be treated, but not badly enough to have to admit her for the infamous lighted bed. Instead, we had a billiblanket- basically it's this plastic paddle with blue lights that has to be on her back at all times- it's connected by a hose to a box that plugs into the wall. Kind of hard to explain...

Anyway, yesterday she weighed 5lb 3oz, and today- 5/5! They took her off the billiblanket and the formula supplement we've been using- suffice it to say we're ALL happier! I still have to wake her up every 2 hours to eat- hopefully soon she will be able to wake up on her own, and it won't be quite as often!

My parents came down for a couple days, which has been a huge help. They have no qualms about holding the grandbaby- ever! Since I've been using the bottle supplement, they can feed her, allowing me to do other things. (Though it's not that easy, because I'm also still nursing- basically, feeding has become a multi-step process taking an hour each time...)

She has the greatest expressions! She has her hands up by her face ALL the time, and she LOVES sleeping on Daddy's shoulder. She got her first Christmas presents tonight from Grandma and Grandpa Nave. For some odd reason, she didn't seem super excited... I'm sure next year will be a different story! :-)

We (ok, Jon...) set up a new site with a ton of pictures, movies, and updates- here's the thing- it's password protected. But, we don't want to leave you out- if you would like access, PLEASE email me, and (if I know you at all...) I would be more than happy to give it to you! If you don't know my email, just leave a comment with yours and I'll send it.

Ah, I'm off to rest for a few minutes before the night process starts again... the things we do for love...

And then, there were three...

Thursday evening after dinner, Jon and I were sitting outside, catching up on the week (he just got home from Mississippi at about 6:30pm), and I had a sudden realization: I was ready to be done with the pregnancy. People have been asking me for a few weeks if I was ready to have her, and really, I wasn't. I was enjoying being pregnant. Thursday night, that changed- I was ready.

Little did I know, Sophie was ready too! We got to the hospital at about 2am, and the midwife broke my water at about 8:15am. Up until that point, the contractions hadn't been that bad. A couple different times, the nurse would be talking to me, and would see my contraction on the monitor- since I wasn't "acting" like I was in labor, they were starting to question it! But... after my water broke, well, that's another story! After about an hour, though, I felt like I should be pushing. "Hm, this must be the pain of contractions people are always talking about!" I thought. Since they thought I had several hours of labor left, the nurses were rarely even checking in on me, so I didn't have anyone to tell me otherwise! During one particularly painful contraction, I couldn't keep it in and screamed... that sent the midwife and nurses running in! They quickly realized I was already at the point that I should have been pushing (I could have told them that!). They all threw on gloves and gowns, breaking down the bed as quickly as possible. Sophie's heart rate had dropped into the 60s (she was averaging in the 140s before that)- they think from me trying to hold her in, so it was pretty intense there for a while...

Skipping ahead a few of the details... at 9:56 am, Sophia Anne was born! She was 5'10" and 19" long... tiny tiny tiny!

We got home yesterday around noon and are all doing great! Jon has a couple days off work, which is immeasurably helpful. It is so amazing how much our lives changed in such a short amount of time- we will never be the same as we were- only better.

I'll post some new pictures hopefully tomorrow. Until then, go to Jon's blog to see pics of her first two days of life, and even a couple videos! (She's adorable. You need to go look at her now. Trust me.)

Stress and Fickle Uncle Sam

Have you ever taken one of those stress inventories? I have in the past, then had to again last week for my social psychology class. There are many variations, but this is the one I did. I scored a 358... that's in the highest bracket...

Thing is, I don't FEEL stressed. Sure, when you have me mark off all the life-changing events that have happened in the past 12 months, it seems that way... but I don't live on that level daily.

Until this past Friday, that is.

When we got the email that we're not going to Ft. Leonard Wood, the floodgates opened... for several hours... I know myself well enough to know that I just needed to get out the emotion, and really, in many ways I'm glad that happened before labor! (not to say it won't happen again, but still...)

The first month after we found out that's where we were going, I didn't believe it. I didn't LET myself believe it- it was within an easy day's drive of family, and- more importantly- non-deployable. Then... I did let myself believe it. See, if they would have told us four months ago that he'd deploy soon (which hasn't been said, but I'm assuming at this point), I would have been prepared... Friday, I was not.

I suppose I have always been that way. I let things build up inside me until it all comes crashing down. I have learned over the years to monitor it and not let it get to that point... this time, not so much...

There are actually several positive things about not going to Leonard Wood. One is simply that we have several more PCSes (Army moves) in front of us- living closer to family might be even better a couple tours down the road than now.

Another is that, honestly, I married a soldier. A soldier who wants to be with infantry or other combat arms battalions, who really, in his heart of hearts, wouldn't mind deploying. I don't for a second question his desire to be with me or the baby- I know that we matter more to him than anything... which is why I don't hold it against him. I know way too many wives who resent their husbands for the career they chose and hate the Army because of it. Me not accepting his desire to deploy would not only be denying reality... it would be denying my husband of the joy and satisfaction he finds in his job.

So, though disappointing, it wasn't devastating news... but I couldn't have admitted that Friday night. Friday night, I felt like my world had crashed around me, that all that was good was gone. (What? Dramatic? Me?) I suppose that happens when you score in the highest bracket on stress tests...

Closing Time

Today I officially stepped down as the PWOC president, and we installed Misty as the new one. I'll admit, it was a bit more emotional than I was anticipating. I was really glad today wasn't my last day there- that would have been awful! Misty has been our 1VP of Programs and will do an excellent job as the president. Her husband just got back from Iraq about 6 weeks ago, so she is in a good position to serve these ladies, as many of them just said good-bye the same week Misty's husband came home. Really, PWOC had a lot to do with me enjoying the Army; it got me integrated and connected much sooner and easier than anything else. And though my husband was home this past year, seeing how the deployed spouses supported each other gave me much hope for our next deployment.

Sunday is my last day at Kids Church. I am a little more readily giving that one up than PWOC- though I won't miss having to get up early and miss church (well, the first half of it anyway...) every Sunday morning, I will miss the kids. It took a few months to really get into the swing of it, and I feel like I am just now developing relationships with the kids and parents. Oh well, there will be more opportunities at the next place...

I have learned so much this past year being involved in the chapel ministry. More than anything, I've learned a lot about how a chapel runs- this has been invaluable to not only me, but Jonathan as well. I've learned to be more professional and formal (working so closely with senior officers demands it) and to allow for more grace. Then there's the Funds Office... this is run by Chaplain Assistants, who have a oftentimes thankless job. They will have upset folks in their office all the time when things aren't going right, but most don't even notice all the effort they put into that happening as little as possible. I have learned that giving them plenty of notice- and doing everything in my power to help- goes a long way.

I really have been so blessed to be here this year, as it was such a great learning experience. I now feel that when we go to the next place, I will be so much better equipped and prepared. There will be plenty more things to learn there- the FRG is a world largely unknown to me- so I'm glad I'm ahead of the curve in the chapel community.

It's so funny to think that, just under a year ago, we were leaving Grace. It seems like a lifetime. I had no idea what this Army life would be like; I had no idea about a lot of things! I knew it was sad to leave, but I was excited about what was ahead. I would say it's pretty much the same now. Though this chapter isn't quite closed, I'm at the point now where I'm not so much worried about board meetings, curriculum, and teacher schedules as I am the baby. That's a good place to be, I suppose.

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

Pot of Gold

I was honored today at the Commanding General's Pot of Gold Award ceremony. I wasn't really sure what to expect, but this wasn't it...

Different groups on post nominate volunteers to receive this award. The majority of recipients- probably 95%- come from FRGs (unit Family Readiness Groups). I was nominated through the chapel, which I considered a high honor. There were 83 recipients, about half of which were there today. I got there and looked through the program, thinking, "Oh, this shouldn't take more than a half hour or so." Boy, was I wrong! The General gave his two-minute "thank you" via video from Iraq, then the Garrison Commander spoke for a couple minutes. Not bad. For the award presentation, I figured we'd line up graduation-style while they read our names. Nope. For each person, the Colonel called her (with the exception of 3 men) name, she came forward, the General's wife pinned a pin on, hugged her, the Colonel recited the same message while shaking her hand, handed her the certificate, then the three of them posed for a picture. THEN each person got to choose anyone from the audience to come pose for a picture too (most brought guests... unfortunately, Jon was en route to Mississippi for the week, so I had another chaplain who was there to give the invocation be in my picture). It took TWO HOURS... over an hour and a half of that was just the award presentation. We ended with a rousing singing of the 3rd Infantry Division Song and the Army Song.

Ah well. Like I said, it's always an honor to be recognized for what you do, and the fact that I was chosen of all the chapel volunteers was a good feeling. And now, I have this nifty rainbow pin to wear! Yes!

Without a Hitch!!

Whew! I am breathing SUCH a sigh of relief!

I don't remember if I posted about this... but a few months ago, something inexplicable came over me, and I decided to put on a children's Christmas program. Well, long story short, it ended up as only a small part of a large installation chapel Christmas Music Fest. Which was tonight. Kids Church sang two songs, then a couple narrators read the Christmas story from Luke 2 while other kids acted it out. After seeing how the practices went the past few weeks, I was REALLY nervous... but they did great!! They were super cute in their little shepherd and angel outifts, and the kids sang louder tonight than they ever have.

And now, I can breathe.

I learned A LOT through this. I'm not sure I will ever do it again... though, if I do, I have a lot of good dos and don'ts! Okok, sooo... more "don'ts" than "dos"...

Have you placed your guess in my delivery pool yet (see below)? You can go here to see the calendar with the dates everyone chose. Again, it's fine to have more than one person on the same date.

Now for the matter of the prize... I have no idea what it will be- that depends on who wins! (So no worries, Rhonda- if it's you, I PROMISE it won't be coffee! :-) I mean, don't expect some fantastic grandiose award... but it will be cool nonetheless!

ETA: If you tried the calendar earlier tonight and google tried to make you sign in, I changed to a different calendar program so you won't have to do that- try it now!

Pregnancy Pool

Alright, I want some fun in my life, so I'm running a pool for my delivery! (btw- if you haven't read the post directly below this one, please do so now! :-)

Here's how it will work:

~ Post in the comments section of this post the date you think I'll deliver

~ Deadline is Sunday, December 16

~ I'll send a prize (yes, a real prize...) to whoever gets it right!

~ If more than one person guesses the right date, I'll draw a name to decide the winner

~ Only one guess per person

~ Open to everyone- even if I don't know you! :-)

Keep in mind, my due date is January 6, but the doctor told me today she thinks I'll go early.

Good luck!!

Expecting the Unexpected

This has been quite a day. We got lots of new information and news... with mixed feelings...

You can go to Jon's blog to read about one part of it. But I shall not write about that. At this point, it would really be best that I not think about it... welcome to the Army...

Onward and upward...

We are in our final countdown! Yesterday marked one month until our due date! Yes yes, I know that a very small percentage of women actually deliver on their date, that two weeks either way is normal, and that most first-time moms deliver late. Yes. I know.

We had a doctor's appointment today. First of all, I must say that we love our doctor. At the last appointment, she spent extra time explaining things to us (mostly fears which had been instilled from the previously mentioned birthing class...), which was immeasurably helpful.

Though there is no sure-fire way to tell such things, she told us today (based on 27 years as a midwife) that she expects our baby will weigh within ounces of 7lbs (give or take), and that she would be very surprised if I make it to my due date- to pretty much plan on going early. This was really exciting... albeit full of yet another dose of reality... that we are actually having a baby. Soon. Very soon. As in, pack-your-bags-write-out-your-birth-plan soon. Well, I suppose the bags don't have to be packed QUITE yet... but you get the point.

On the house front, we also heard from our realtor today that the couple who looked at our house earlier this week loved it and would have immediately made an offer... if it weren't for the next door neighbor's big, loud, obnoxious dog. That was the deal breaker. Fantastic.

Well, it's showing again in the morning, so I best be off to cleaning...

Seriously??

This morning, while reading blogs for my daily "wake-up time," I came across this widget on another site. You can go here and enter the url for your blog to see the level of readability. I was sure mine would be elementary, but...



What?? That is quite the sad commentary, I must say. What is even more surprising is that my husband's blog, with fancy-schmancy words like "metanarrative" and "requisite fear and trepidation" scored in the elementary category.

Now, I fully realize that this is just a gimmick and probably completely random. But, still...

ETA: A quick google search made me realize what the gimmick is- When you post this on your site, it automatically posts a link to a "Cash Advance" site (which I had actually realized before I published this and had already deleted the link...). I then tried several other sites' URLs just out of curiosity... I wasn't convinced, until a site that shall remain nameless that is probably one of the worst I've seen (most pages read "This Feature Coming Soon!!") rated genius. Ah well, it's fun anyway...

Thanksgiving Leave

Wow. It's been a while. Last night, Jon told me I needed to update my blog- you know it's bad when that happens!

I suppose I feel like I have nothing to say. "Yep, still pregnant." That's about it. I am starting to hand off all my responsibilities with Kids Church and PWOC. Just today, I had a 20 minute conversation with a lady about some issues involving PWOC... while I was happy to lend a listening ear and offer some suggestions, I'll admit, it felt good to know that it is no longer my problem! ;-)

We had a fantastic time up north! My family had a baby shower for me, which was really a blessing. Loading up the car with all that pink made it seem just that much more real that this is happening- in a month! At the shower, we played a game where each person cut off a piece of yarn the length they thought it would take to go around my belly. Much to everyone's chagrin, my two nieces actually got the closest- most people were like 10 inches too long. I'm happy to report, though, that when I had Jon do the same thing later that evening, it was exactly the right length!

If you read Jon's blog, you saw all the snow- it was great! A little unnerving driving in it up to his dad's, but it was gorgeous the next morning. I went outlet shopping with Amy, Jon preached at his dad's church, I had breakfast with two great friends from high school, and we ended our trip by relaxing at my parents' for a couple days.

I could keep going, but since I've started to get bored just writing this, I'm sure you have reading it... more later!!

Once again...

I.hate.moving.

Have I ever told you that? Get ready to hear it a lot more. Fortunately, if all works out according to plan (which may or may not happen...), the Army will pack and move us this time, and every time for the next 20 years. That will be nice.

What the Army ISN'T doing, though, is getting our house ready to put on the market. The realtor is supposed to come by this afternoon to take pictures for the online virtual tour... and I am nowhere near ready. You don't have to know me well at all to know that not only does clutter not bother me, but I really don't notice it. I will walk into a room and think it is clean and clutter-free, until my loving and patient husband points out the hour's worth of work it would take to actually get the room to said state. I am much neater (and cleaner) now than in my earlier years, no doubt. But, well, suffice it to say my eyes float right over piles without giving them a second glance.

Which is making this difficult.

Anyway, back to moving...

We finally stripped the wallpaper and painted the bathrooms a couple weeks ago. Isn't it funny how we have all these grand plans when we first move in, but then the motivation wanes until we have to sell?

On the up side, as of December 31, this will be the first time I have lived in the same place for a year since high school. Now that I think about it, I did live with my parents for about 13 months after college- but the last 5 of that was spent knowing they were selling their house and I would have to leave at any time. Even still, this is my 16th move since high school graduation- a mere 6 1/2 years ago (that is, if you count the month I lived out of my car as one "move"). I'm ready to settle down; unfortunately, our way of life doesn't allow for that.

In other news, the baby is doing great. She's bouncing all over the place! It's now to the point that I feel her at several different places all at the same time- I can tell she's growing! We went to our first birthing class the other night (not at all the tv lamaze class I was expecting- it was actually lecture-style in an auditorium with about 50 people), which was, oddly enough, much more beneficial than I was anticipating. We're down to 8 weeks until my due date- that will fly by!

Ah, well, enough procrastination... I must at least make an attempt to de-clutter...

Pics from Savannah

My parents came in for a few days last week. They bought tickets for last weekend's Nascar race in Atlanta last year when we were living near there- about 5 miles from the track, actually. But, as is our lives, we moved four hours south right after they bought the tickets... but, hey, what's another 4 hours after driving 10 to get to a car race, right?

We had a great time with them here. We spent one day walking around Savannah and ending with a seafood buffet... what a great way to enjoy coastal Georgia! Right on the river is this section of shops and restaurants- including THREE candy shops! Gotta love free samples! Here are a few pics, especially for those of you who have yet to see me pregnant...


















And if that weren't proof enough...

PWOC Fall Focus

After an hour and a half of fitful sleep, my alarm went off at 2:15am yesterday. We rolled out of the Walmart parking lot at 4, and almost 10 hours later were here in Tennessee. What a day.

We're at a Marriott in Franklin, TN, and it is beautiful. The colors aren't quite in full bloom, but anything is better than the greenish-brownish of South Georgia! It made me even more excited to go up north in a few short weeks.

The conference (which is for the Southeast Regional of PWOC) has gone pretty well thus far. Of course, that is tempered by the fact that dinner was fantastic. Between the lasagna, chocolate cake, and extremely good coffee, my mood barometer went up tremendously...

I think the funniest part, bar none, was when Kathy Troccoli was singing a heartfelt emotional song and fell off the stage. Yep, right on the floor. It was stinkin' hilarious. Of course, she was laughing- it's not like I'm some creep who delights when others get hurt. Still...

Then, today I found myself at a workshop that was, shall we say, not exactly what the description in the conference materials presented. How in the world can I get out of this class early? I thought. Then, the fire alarm went off, so I spent the next half hour sitting in my car while the firetrucks rolled up. We were quickly allowed back inside and I snuck up to my room. Apparently God heard my plea and divinely caused the fire so He could bless me by letting me out of that class. Yes. That's it.

More later...

thoughts on a dreary evening...

Do you ever find that the more you have to do, the less motivated you are to start??

3:00am is going to come WAY too soon, I'm afraid. Yes, I leave in the morning with 11 other women for a PWOC conference in Tennessee. The house is a mess, I'm not packed, there's laundry to do, and... here I sit...

Weekends and What Not to Say

Sorry it's been a while. We've been busy, but nothing blogworthy (as my last post demonstrates). Well, by "busy" I mean Jon had a 4-day weekend last weekend... gotta love Federal holidays (Christopher Columbus Day? Who knew?) We enjoyed it, as it was- quite literally- the last weekend we have until December 15/16. Not even kidding. I don't mean that, like, we have plans on Saturday evening or anything- I mean for the next NINE weekends we have WEEKEND plans away from home. Then, we have a couple weeks to rest (during Christmas), followed by a birth, him changing jobs, and moving. Oh, hopefully in that time we'll also sell the house, which means we'll also be packing and finding a place to live. Nice.

Now that you feel sufficiently bad for me, moving on...

On Thursday we went to UMT (Unit Ministry Team) Training at a local mega-church. There were some things we gleaned, and some things we weren't exactly impressed with.

Based on that experience (and others), let me just say this- if you're not military, no one expects you to be military. If you can understand that, we all will be happier.

The fact is, no one knows exactly how to act around military- especially wives whose husbands are deployed. And the fact is, I'm not sure what to tell you- everyone wants to be treated differently.

Here's a couple general rules of thumb, though:

~ Don't act like you know what it's like, unless you do. (I'm sorry, but your husband's 10-day camping trip in Canada just isn't the same thing...)

~ Ask questions. Again, we don't expect you to know what it's like- so if we start talking in military lingo, ask what in the world we are saying!!

~ Accept our emotions. Yes, we knew what we were signing up for... that doesn't mean we LIKE deployments (or extensions), constant moves, or "The Army Way" about everything. There are bad things about the Army, just like there are about your job... we don't have to take those things with a smile. Saying, "Well, you knew this before..." doesn't bring my husband home, and it doesn't make it any easier.

~ Acknowledge that there is more to life than the Army. Just because my husband might be deployed (or is out in the field, or even simply wears ACUs to work every day), that doesn't mean I can't have a life and interests outside the Army. Normal just looks different, that's all.

Again, these are general rules. If you're in the military or a spouse and would like to add to this in the comments section, please feel free!

Basically, just as in anything, act in love and respect, and itsallgood...
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Just a disclaimer: If this post seems disjointed, it's because I have written it over the past 4 days...

My Day

Whew! What a day!

First of all, if you haven't read my husband's blog in a few days, you really need to go over there and check it out. We have news. Big news. Well, bigger to me than to you, but nonetheless... I wrote a whole entry about it, but wasn't really happy with it, and he really summed the whole thing up well. Hint: It tells of a MAJOR happening in our future, which affects him going to Iraq...

Anyway-

It's been a long day. Jon made breakfast, as is typical on Saturday. Blueberry pancakes. Does life get any better?

We then trekked to Savannah, stopping on the way at the Korean Presbyterian church for a yard sale- got some really cute baby outfits and an infant bathtub (plus some yummy... um... Korean snack of some kind...)

Then- the moment I have been waiting for- we registered! There's nothing better than "shopping" at Target and not spending a dime... We didn't get to register together for our wedding (being 900 miles apart makes it difficult), so it was a lot of fun to be able to do that with him today. (And for all of you thinking, "Yeah, I'm sure it was great for you, but I bet he hated it!"- not so much... He's actually more of a shopper than I.)

Add to that a stop at a craft store, Barnes & Noble, Bargain Books, a Milka (if you don't know what that is, get in the car and go to the chocolate aisle at World Market right now...you'll never want Hershey's again..) and Pad Thai, and it was a fabulous day.

Though a tiring one... but again, go read Jon's blog! It's a lot more interesting than this one, let me tell you...

Coffee, Anyone?

Yesterday I experienced another "first" in my Army life- I hosted a Coffee.

A "Coffee" is basically any get-together with a specific group of people. Unit FRGs (Family Readiness Groups) will have them typically once a month- they can be at someone's home, a restaurant, an outing or event, and can range from formal to a backyard barbeque. Someone even told me yesterday that she hosted an FRG coffee, and the theme was a slumber party- everyone came in their PJs! It is entirely up to the hostess what it will be like. Things like FRG Coffees tend to be less formal (and official etiquette followed less strictly), but there are other occasions where they are much more traditional. Because of the oddity of Jon's unit, the FRG isn't very active- I don't think they've actually done anything since I got here! But, more on FRGs later, as the time comes...

The Coffee I hosted yesterday was for the Chaplain Spouses group. We meet once a month as well, and they're pretty laid-back. There are actually 43 Chaplain Spouses here (most with deployed husbands), but at any given Coffee we'll have 10-15. It has been a great way to get to know these women, most of whom I would never have occasion to meet. It's a unique group, too, because our experiences range from those whose husbands just went to Chaplain School earlier this year, all the way up to the Installation Chaplain's wife- he's a full-bird Colonel who has been in the Army for 24 years.

At a Coffee, there is "official business" we do- introducing the new ladies, giving gifts to those on their way out, updating on who's having babies, who's husband is leaving, etc. There is also this thing called "Opportunities"- which I have realized is just the Army word for raffle! Instead of our group collecting dues, we do opportunities- everyone pays a buck for the chance to win the prize (and the honor of bringing the prize next month!). We talk about the next Coffee, and, well, that's about it. Last month the business led into a fantastic conversation about dealing with deployment in the context of being a chaplain's wife.

So, the house was cleaned, the lunch was made, the guests came, and two hours later, it was all over. I'm really glad I did it- with every Army experience I have, I realize more and more how much I enjoy this lifestyle. Even writing this, I had to think through how to explain things that have become second nature to me. When I started this entry, I had planned on telling all about the event, but it became more of an explanation of what exactly this ambiguous "Coffee" is.

I think one of the things I enjoy is the tradition that goes along with it. Yes, Coffees now tend to be informal get-togethers... but they date WAY back. They even have their own chapter in The Army Wife Handbook:

The tradition of military wives getting together for coffee dates back to the establishment of the first military posts. Wives of the frontier Army had to endure many hardships, and an hour or two spent sharing a cup of coffee with a friend must have been a welcome respite. Like so many of the social customs of the nineteenth-century military, this social tradition survived and evolved.

They have seen many different forms over the past two centuries; like everything, they have changed with the cultures and trends of the day.

Yesterday afternoon I mostly started blankly at the TV screen. Such activities have a way of taking it out of you... but, it was a great time, and now I have one more checked box on my list of things to do as a spouse!

Crayon Box

I have started about three posts, only to realize none of them were interesting enough to publish. So, instead, I have decided to grace you with several of my here-and-there thoughts, a "crayon box" of sorts...

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The last few nights, Jon and I have sat out on the deck... and I could wear SOCKS! Yes, and long pants, and - get this - long sleeve shirts! Ah, bliss.

On that note, I purchased a homemade pumpkin spice candle from a PWOC friend, and she delivered it to me today- can't wait to try it out! (Every fall, I spend like $3 on the Walmart version, which kinda smells a little for about 10 minutes, then it just burns. Glad I went with quality this year.)

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If you read my husband's blog, you remember him posting a couple weeks ago about a Derek Webb song. Yes, to calm any family grumblings, it was in fact my brother-in-law, Dave, who introduced me to this favorite of mine a couple years ago (by the way, Dave, I don't think it was KFC- I think it was a mom&pop diner that took about an hour and a half for us to eat at...) Derek Webb used to be in Caedmon's Call (and is married to Sandra McCracken of the same fame), then went solo. His album "She Must and Shall Go Free" is all about the church and has incredible lyrics. Both Derek and his bride are also a part of the Indelible Grace project- if you've never heard them, look them up on iTunes!!

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There is another brigade out of Ft. Stewart getting ready to deploy next month, so the train behind our house has once again been busy transporting various fighting vehicles. It has been a long road for this brigade, as they were "supposed to" deploy in July, then it kept getting delayed... the only thing worse than a deployment is an incessantly delayed deployment... the more time they spend here now, the longer it will be before they come home...

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The pregnancy is going well. I'll have to take a picture so y'all can see! It's funny, I now weigh what I did on my wedding day. Today someone told me my nose is getting bigger. Has anyone else heard of "pregnant nose"? Apparently I'm out of the loop on this one. I am pretty sure, though, that the wee one has changed her sport of choice from soccer to gymnastics- sorry, Dad!!

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Kids Church is going well, too. After starting to plan the Fall Fest, I was made aware that MWR (Morale, Welfare, & Recreation- they're in charge of the "fun" stuff of the Army) is doing one as well, so I'm just going to set up a booth at theirs. Easier for me. We're also doing a Kids Church Christmas program that will be a part of the Installation Chapel's Christmas Music Festival. It should be pretty cool!

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And, in closing, courtesy of MASH, "Be brave, be loyal, be true... and keep your white flags handy, just in case..."

When "God's Will" isn't God's will

"The Lord is leading me to..."

"The Spirit is guiding me..."

We've all heard it. Many of us have probably even said it. God is directing us to fill-in-the-blank.

I think my personal favorite was when it was commonly used at Bible school in reference to dating. "The Lord is leading me to date you"... and subsequently, "The Lord is leading me to break up with you." Since when did God impart divine wisdom through fickle 19-year-old hormones?

My brother has a friend who had a similar situation. Wanting to marry his girlfriend, he approached her father. The father said that God told him it was not His will for her to marry him. The boyfriend responded, "Well, God told me that it is."

I do not doubt that there are times that God really does direct and lead people to do things.

I also do not doubt that such words have been uttered not at the Spirit's prompting, but instead as a manipulation tactic.

You don't like your daughter's boyfriend? Say it's not God's will.

You don't like the decision leadership has made? Claim God's leading otherwise.

You aren't happy in any given situation in life? Attribute your feelings to God, and no one will have a leg to stand on.

I mean, come on, when someone tells you that God told them to do something, what do you say to that?

I strongly believe that God is not impressed at all when people use His name to further their own agenda, and I believe that it happens more than most of us would like to admit. Not only do the church's "troublemakers" do it, volunteers do it, deacons do it, pastors do it...

And no one questions it.

It is a matter of the heart that is not only personal, but deeply spiritual.

This thought came to me this morning, as there is a small... ahem... "issue" surrounding a decision I (and others) made last spring.

This is incredibly frustrating to me. How do you know when it's God and when it's not? More so, how do I know when it's God telling you to do something?

I mean, unless asked, I do not make any attempts to tell you what God is saying to you. However, when what you claim God tells you directly impacts my life, I feel like I should have a say.

You know, there are very few people who I would without question (or at least with few questions) accept what they told me from God. Very.few.people.

But can I tell you how difficult it is to even allude to someone that I wholeheartedly believe they are hiding behind alleged spirituality to get their way?

There is, as you can probably tell, much more to this situation, as well as to my thoughts and feelings on it.

Suffice it to say that it's at times like this that I'm thankful I have the thick skin which comes with the experience of being a pastor's kid.

By the way, you'll be happy to know that the boyfriend and his young love mentioned earlier have been happily married for several years.

Guess God decided to bless after all...

Answers

Here are the answers from last post's game.

By the way, for those of you who commented- yes, this was my original blog layout two years ago... I was looking for something more "fall-ish" than "mac-ish," as my last template was. I'm currently trying to figure out how to import an outside template in to blogger... I know it's possible, I just haven't had the patience yet to actually do it.

Anyway, here are the answers to the 4th graders' attempts at spelling:

nurse=nresce
battle=batfall
pennies=penerd
confusion=kufshanr
discovery=bufen
resident=rebet
visible=vizetfall
trapped=chraped
distance=bistis
fever=feful
phone=phoesph
charge=jrash
drawing=braign
fraction=freken
scrape=craep

Are you smarter than a 4th grader?

Alright, folks, ready for a little game?

I just read Diesel's blog about a diagnostic spelling test his wife just gave her new 4th grade class. Again, in the students' defense, they did not have time to study (nor was it actually graded)- it was just so she could see the proficiency level at the beginning of the school year.

In the left column is the list of actual words... in the right, the students' attempts at spelling the words. Can you match them up? Feel free to leave your guess in the comments section. If you want one answer to get you started, click the link to Diesel's blog.

He notes that most of the kids did fine; obviously, not all... And by the way, no, I don't actually know this person- it's a blog I sometimes randomly read...

I'll post the answers in a few days.

Spelling Words...... Attempts at Spelling
nurse........................... kufshanr
battle.......................... penerd
pennies ...................... rebet
confusion.................... chraped
discovery................... feful
resident..................... craep
visible ........................ nresce
trapped...................... batfall
distance..................... vizetfall
fever.......................... phoesph
phone........................ bufen
charge....................... freken
drawing.................... bistis
fraction..................... braing
scrape....................... jrash

Curse you, Gary Paulsen!

When I was in elementary school, I loved to read. I read every book in the church library (which was quite well-stocked, by the way) for my age group, and then some. The school and public libraries served to supplement any literary need that was not being met by the volumes I borrowed from the church. I pored through the Scholastic Reader flyer, longing for more books for my personal collection. I would sit outside under the shade tree in the front yard, on my bed in the privacy of my room, and in various places waiting for my parents to end their dull adult conversations.

Then, 7th grade hit.

What happened?, you may ask...

One word: Hatchet.

Have any of you ever read this book? I'm sure that it is a fine read in other contexts, but Mrs. Blauw's Language Arts class was NOT an amusing one. We read, studied, analyzed to death this book... for an entire semester.

Spelling and Vocab words came from Hatchet.

Daily journal entries were inspired by Hatchet.

We had to do a Hatchet panorama.

Act out scenes.

Write incessantly.

Again, let me emphasize: An ENTIRE SEMESTER: January through June.

When we finally finished the book, we spent two days watching the movie.

In 8th grade, our teacher told us we were going to read The River, Hatchet's sequel. We cried out in agony. The next day, he told us we could individually choose a book to read and report on. We sang his praises.

Hatchet single-handedly ingrained into me a hatred for the written word, specifically in the realm of fiction. I have since tried to read, I really really have. I am sorry to say that in the 11 years that have passed, not counting required reading for other English classes (which were, oddly enough, always my favorites...), I have read a whopping three novels: Alas, Babylon, The Giver, and Cry, the Beloved Country (all fantastic reads, by the way). I have worked in various John Piper (though I have not cracked a Piper book in several years... but that's another story...) and a couple other non-fiction writings, but nary a novel.

My husband, on the other hand, is an avid reader. One of the (many) reasons he was delighted to complete his seminary was so he would have more time to read books of his choosing. He has inspired me.

Let me back up a bit to say, too, that I have never read any of the classic "girl books" (nor have I seen the movies...) Anne of Green Gables, anything by Jane Austin, Little Women, etc...

So, with this newfound inspiration (and the fact that it has been rainy the last few days, making me want to curl up with a good book... only to realize I don't really read...) and the idealistic notion that, before introducing my daughter into the world, I should have more "girly" literary experiences, I removed Jane Eyre from its place on one of our five bookshelves. Well, I removed it about three weeks ago. It has since been sitting on the floor in a pile with my textbooks from last term...

But tonight, I cracked it open. I have to say, I'm enjoying it more than I thought I would... I found myself interested by the time I turned the first page, and read 40 more without even realizing it.

Maybe... hopefully... my old friend will not disappoint, and it will be a sweet reunion... and if not, well hey, at least I tried!